


Atmosphere

by ichikonohakko



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Alteration/Fill-In-The-Blanks, Aqua and Terra got themselves two sons in one body, Dissociation, Eventual Romance, Gen, Identity Issues, Or Three, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, TerQua and VanVen sorta slow burn, The Wayfinder Family, Things are Hella Complicated between Aqua and Terra, Vanitas mellows out in this fic since he merges with Ventus, an indulgent Ventus' past exploration fic, n entirely original take of Kingdom Hearts Union Cross, will deviate from canon eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-10-23 14:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17685026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichikonohakko/pseuds/ichikonohakko
Summary: Ven was very much awake but very much silent as he watched the sunrise from his own bedroom window like he had never done so before in his life. Aqua took a deep breath and went over to him, but Ven didn’t even turn over to her as she sat on the bed next to him. Ven recoiled from her touch, his expression was something she had never seen before in her entire life. Ven looked… disgusted at her, and it reminded him of the time when Ven had golden eyes instead of blue…“V-Ven…?” Aqua started, unsure, but the look she received spoke volumes. This was…“I’m not Ventus,” Ven said curtly, but then he stared at his own hands and felt his own face. “Or… I am? I am Ventus, aren’t I?”---(In which Aqua and Terra, as complicated as things were, had to be a good parents for Ventus, who somehow managed to be even more complicated than them both.)





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Heed the tags! This is my first ever Kingdom Hearts fic, surrounding my favorite trio of the entire series and Vanitas. I really wanted to read a fic about Ven's time as a Union Leader in KH Union Cross, but no one seemed to explore them so hey, why don't I throw in my cents into the fandom? It's not like canon would suddenly just cater to my interests lmao.
> 
> So here it is, please enjoy my unnecesarily complicated TerQua and necessarily complicated VanVen fic

Aqua knew.

She knew that Terra also knew, and she also knew that Terra wouldn’t say anything, too caught up in his own head to even considering to move on. That was why he was here, standing outside the castle staring at the stars after he knew that Ven had fallen asleep. Aqua knew that Terra had no intention to sleep inside the castle, he was going to stand here until morning came to punish himself for everything’s he’s done before coming up for breakfast and pretended like he had woken up earlier to train.

This trait of Terra, one where he would do absolutely everything to make sure that Ven won’t be worried was something Aqua could understand, after all she would have done the same thing.

But it didn’t mean that Aqua won’t be worried.

They had returned to the Land of Departure, buried Master Eraqus’ keyblade and decorated it in flowers. They had prayed and they had mourned, they had also talked. About everything and anything, everything that didn’t matter.

There were too many things left unsaid, because all they wanted and needed was some time for things to not hurt, to not be confusing. They were here, all three of them, and that was enough.

But both Aqua and Terra knew that they would have to talk eventually, because things happened during these twelve years. Time didn’t stand still for them, after all. Especially so for Terra.

Aqua knew, she knew that Terra also knew, but none of them could say anything.

So Aqua came to him, standing next to him as she put her hand on top of Terra’s shoulder. “Aqua…” was what Terra breathed, his voice was barely audible and nearly lost in the wind. Aqua let her hand wander from his shoulder and all the way to his hand, her eyes never leaving Terra’s face. _I know that you are hurting_ was what she wanted to say but couldn’t, because her words would die in her throat. It all seemed so… small, insignificant, her words would have meant nothing to Terra, but she…

“Come inside, it’s getting cold.” Something normal. She always said this all those years ago, to Terra or to Ven whenever any of them was out in the cold night to train or to just play. Sometimes she would join in too, like the night when she gave them their Wayfinders, but most of the time Aqua would be the responsible one of the three. But above all else, this was _normal_. Nothing confusing, nothing difficult, nothing….

Terra smiled, a sad smile that spoke a million words Aqua never wanted to hear. She let their fingers intertwine, comforting and unrelenting. She won’t let him go, even if she had to lose it all again, she would never let him go.

“Maybe you should go inside, Aqua. I’ll be along in a minute.” _Liar_. Aqua wanted to say, but decided against it. She opted for silence and decided to just to tighten her grip on his palm. She wanted to ground him here, to let him know that his home would always be here by her and Ven’s side. She knew it would take time, but she was willing to spend them. She had wandered through the darkness all by her lonesome, tormented by the images of Terra and Ven walking forward and leaving her behind, and now that she had them back, Aqua would _never_ let them go.

Terra was shaking and Aqua knew he would be. He loved them very much, both her and Ven, and Master Eraqus had told him to take care of them. Terra would never ever leave them behind, but at the same time… Aqua had a feeling that Terra would never let himself heal, too content on wallowing in guilt and despair she and Ven never wanted from their most precious friend. Aqua knew, she knew that Terra knew, and yet still….

“I’m here, I’m staying. This time I’ll protect you and Ven. Whatever it takes.”

“But how about you, Terra? Who’s going to protect you…?”

Terra had a conflicted look on his face, one that screamed of so much and yet nothing. Aqua wanted to know him better, to see just what was going on in her friend’s head; what tormented him, what ailed him, what he felt, _how to fix them again…_

But Terra let go of her hand and smiled. “You and Ven have done enough for me, Aqua, you know that.”

_No, she didn’t._ Because nothing would be enough for the sake of their friendship. There was no ‘enough’ and it was fine, because she and Ven loved Terra and they were willing to do everything they could to keep him safe. There was no such thing as _enough_ ….

If Terra had let her go to walk off alone, Aqua would have followed him everywhere, but Terra took her hand and led her back to the castle instead. She watched, both in surprise and curiosity, as Terra led her up the stairs and into the kitchen. Thousands of questions sprung inside her head, but Aqua elected to say nothing as Terra led her into the pantry and asked her to sit down.

“You like your tea sweet, right Aqua?”

There was something she didn’t like in that voice, like Terra was confirming a memory instead of just knowing it like he was supposed to. But Aqua nodded, silent and cautious as Terra went around the pantry to make them both tea.

“Aqua, I…”

It was lost in the silence, but Aqua only stared at her friend, patient and coaxing. There were too many unsaid things, but she knew that they would have to talk soon. Because they’ve been together for a very long time and they were both bad at keeping secrets from one another. It’s simply wasn’t in their nature to hide things.

Both their teas were done a few minutes later and Terra immediately sat in front of her, passing her the cup of tea he had made for both of them in pure silence. “I… hurt a lot of people.” Terra sounded subdued, pained, and Aqua’s heart wrenched at the tone her friend had used and she kept her silence. It wasn’t her voice Terra needed, it was her presence, the absolute reassurance that she wouldn’t leave no matter what he said. So Aqua stayed, her hands around her teacup and eyes kept on Terra, even when he didn’t say anything else for the rest of the night.

\--

For the days since they returned to the Land of Departure, Ven’s presence was what made the atmosphere brightened.

Ven was always a wonderful presence to be with, always cheery and light and all-around easy to be with. It felt like absolute trust, knowing that even when Terra had fallen into darkness, even when Terra couldn’t trust himself, Ven would always be there—smiling like all is right in the world now that Terra and Aqua are by his side.

If it was just him together with Aqua, too many things lingered. Too many things were left unspoken. Ven had been asleep all these years, he didn’t know what Terra did and he didn’t seem like he wanted to know, but Aqua was…

She had shouldered way too much burden for her small shoulders to bear, all for Terra, who had fallen to darkness.

Aqua had waited in the realm of darkness for more than a decade and yet she never lost her light. She truly was worthy of the title Keyblade Master she now held. Ven would pretty much follow in her footsteps, too. Terra was the only one who….

“Hey, do you want to go and wake Ven? He’ll be annoyed if he knew we spent the night not sleeping.”

Aqua’s hand and words were grounding, it brought him out of his stupor and immediately back to reality. Too many things unspoken, too many things that lingered, but if Terra knew anything about Aqua, last night had sent him a clear message. There will be many more nights like the one they just spent, where Aqua would just wait until Terra wanted to share his burden. He truly didn’t deserve her, nor did he deserve Ven.

But he nodded, smiling a small smile as he let Aqua’s hand took his and led them both to Ven’s room.

The walk was quiet and their footsteps echoed along the walls, it almost felt like the day they both first walked these halls to clean out Ven’s room for the first time. It was… nostalgic, but at the same time not something he wanted to relive again in his entire life.

When they arrived, Terra noticed the many emotions that flashed on Aqua’s face when she saw Ven’s sleeping form.

First it was relief, probably from seeing Ven safe and _there_ , just somewhere they can both reach. Then sadness, then guilt, and then _fear_. Ah, another thing Aqua had shouldered in her shoulders, her promise to wake Ven up with Terra, one she couldn’t keep because she had lost him to the darkness. Her hand lingered around her chest, trying to contain her doubt and guilt. So Terra was the one who put his hand on her shoulder and smiled this time.

“Hey, c’mon, let’s not keep him wait.”

Terra went on, right next to Ven’s bed and smiled. This too, felt nostalgic, because Terra really couldn’t count the hours he spent taking care of a sleeping Ven. He loved Ven’s exuberance and energy, but there was a part of him that remembered Ven as the sleeping boy who cannot remember anything and it stayed. So Terra sat on the edge of his bed and started to shake him awake.

“Ven, wake up.”

For some reason, Aqua teared up at that. She stifled a sob before shaking her head, trying to clear it. But Ven didn’t wake and didn’t show any sign of waking. Terra tried again, once, twice, thrice, until Aqua noticed that it wasn’t just a normal Ven wanting to sleep in. Because there wasn’t any groaning or moaning, just…

“Ven!!” Aqua leapt from her previous standing place and on to Ven’s side, shaking him awake with her eyes wide and scared. “We need to take him to Master Yen Sid, Terra. He’s not- It was like this the last time too- Ven-“

“Calm down, Aqua…”

Aqua was trembling hard and Terra understood the apprehension she displayed when Ven had tucked in for the night. She was afraid that if Ven slept, he might never wake again, a fear that Terra didn’t understand. What did Aqua feel when she returned here, to the home where she had hidden her precious friend, a dozen years later only to find that Ven still didn’t wake after she woke him up? It must have been devastating.

“Let’s… let’s wait. If Ven still hadn’t wake up until tomorrow, we’ll take him to Master Yen Sid, okay?”

If Aqua hadn’t given him a little nod, Terra would have been sure that she might not have heard him. Because her gaze on Ven was intense, focused, as she grasped his hand in her own and called him every now and then to wake him up. They stayed there, both he and Aqua didn’t leave the room unless they needed to go to the restroom, and even then they took turns, not letting Ven out of their sight whatsoever.

When the night fell, Terra went over to the kitchen to make them tea. It crossed his mind to go outside, to not spend so much time in a place he didn’t deserve anymore, but seeing Aqua’s pale face as she wiped Ven’s brows made him shake his head. He was here to protect his friends, he would deal with his unspoken guilt and despair another time.

When Terra came in with the tray of tea, Aqua had a relieved smile on her face. She let go of Ven’s hand and went over to him, thanking him for a tea with a whisper. Terra nodded at her, saying that it was okay. So they sat for the rest of the night in the floor of Ven’s room, saying nothing while they wait.

\--

Aqua roused to consciousness when the first sunbeams peeked through Ven’s windows, signaling that it was already the next day.

She woke up on Terra, or more specifically, Terra’s shoulder. The other had leaned on Ven’s drawers and let her sleep on top of his shoulder. Aqua blinked away her sleepiness and tried to take in surroundings, checking if Ven is—Ven!!

Her eyes went to the bed immediately, where she saw Ven very much awake but very much silent as he watched the sunrise from his own bedroom window like he had never done so before in his life. Aqua took a deep breath and went over to him, but Ven didn’t even turn over to her as she sat on the bed next to him.

“What’s wrong, are you feeling sick?”

Ven recoiled from her touch, his expression was something she had never seen before in her entire life. Ven looked… disgusted at her, and it reminded him of the time when Ven had golden eyes instead of blue…

“V-Ven…?” Aqua started, unsure, but the look she received spoke volumes. This was…

“I’m not Ventus,” Ven said curtly, but then he stared at his own hands and felt his own face. “Or… I am? I _am_ Ventus, aren’t I?”

Terra had started to rouse by then, noting the strange tension shared by his best friends. Ever the diffuser, Terra went over to Aqua’s side with sleep still apparent in his eyes. “What’s wrong guys?”

Ven looked up to him, eyes wide and expression shell-shocked. “You’re… Eraqus’ whel—apprentices. Ventus’ _friends._ ” There was a biting edge that Ven used when he spoke the word _friends_ , as if it offended him somehow. Terra was dumbfounded, but said nothing, waiting for Aqua’s judgment.

“Are you… Vanitas?”

That seemed to brought a reaction from Ven, whose shock immediately morphed into a semblance of recognition. “Yes, I-I mean no. I’m Ventus, I… he…” There was a moment of silence as Ven (or was it Vanitas like she thought it was…?) stared at his own hands, trembling.

“I… we were talking, him and I… _us_.” Ven looked so lost and confused that Aqua’s heart went out to him, but she really didn’t know what to think. Who was he? Was he Ven? The Ven they all knew and loved? Or was he Vanitas? The Vanitas who had tormented all of them and laughed, Vanitas who had chosen the darkness? Aqua simply didn’t know what to say. “We were talking about us, about Ventus, and suddenly there was a light and he…”

“He what, Vanitas?” Terra asked, his face calm as his voice. Aqua jolted at the clarity of his statement, as if it was obvious that the boy in front of them was in fact not Ven. Aqua stared at Terra, who then laced their fingers together without looking away from the boy in front of them. His fingers were trembling. He was scared, too…

“He… fell to our memories from _before_ ,” Ven (or Vanitas, Aqua is still not sure) had a frightened look on his face, he drew his knees closer to his chin and tucked them into a hug. “Before we were split into two, I mean. To a _we_ both of us don’t remember…”


	2. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanitas and Ventus echo each other's feelings and one is much susceptible than the other

_Ventus was fairly sure that he had already went to bed, particularly exhausted after the entire ordeal. He had gotten Terra back, he had Aqua by his side, he bid goodbye to Sora and the others and returned home. The three of them had buried Master Eraqus’ keyblade, decorated it with flowers and their Wayfinders (because now they have each other and would always be together. They didn’t need it anymore, they should put it as a signpost where Master Eraqus’ heart would be able to find them if he ever needed to) and they had mourned._

_And then they had talked, about a lot of things and nothing in particular, and Ven was_ exhausted. _So he had excused himself earlier and went to bed._

_Then he found himself here, in a platform with stained glass that was oh-so-familiar. There were walls all around him—fragments of his memories, he guessed—and Ven found himself walking around the walls, absently noting the memories. Some of them he knew, fond days of spending his afternoons training with Terra and Aqua. His visit to Radiant Garden, where he met Lea and Isa, visiting Snow White and the others, happy memories. Others were blurry, the days he hadn’t truly woken up from his sleep because his heart was still fractured, and there were others, memories he would rather not—_

_“Oh, you’re here. After all that sleeping, I would have thought that you wouldn’t want to sleep again. Ever.”_

_“Vanitas!”_

_Ven leaped back, his stance at the ready, trying to summon his keyblade to no avail. Wayward Wind didn’t come to him and his mind was already racing to find alternatives. Fistfight? Would he win against Vanitas in a fistfight?_

_Vanitas lazily looked up from the memories he was watching, it was full of canyons and memories he would rather not see, but he didn’t look like he wanted to fight. If anything, he just watched Ven’s stance like he was regarding it, sharply reminding Ven of how Terra and Aqua would watch his stance to give him inputs. It was devoid of any malicious intent, even though the way Vanitas regarded him like he was an insect was horribly off-putting._

_And yet it was just incomprehensible for Ven to see Vanitas not wanting to hack him, or force him into forging the X-blade, or just… being a menace to his life in general. He seemed… calmer, somehow, there was languid laziness in his body language, one Ven considered as off-putting, and yet here he was._

_Seeing that Ventus wasn’t going to do anything, Vanitas rolled his eyes and shrugged before returning his gaze onto the memories. Then silence, oppressive silence that Ven hated most, silence that would happen when Master Eraqus is particularly displeased with their conduct and they were waiting for punishment. And Ven really_ can’t _comprehend having to deal with this silence within his own heart._

_And as if on cue, his memories started to sound, filling the silence he had hated with intelligible sound. The memories then shifted and Ven watched as Vanitas exhaled. “What do you want, Ventus?” Vanitas sounded irritated, peering at Ven from head to toe from his seat. “Why are you here? This place is—“_ Important to me _was left unsaid. “Important to you, I know.” Vanitas said as he finally stood up from his seat on the floor. “It’s just that…” Vanitas trailed off, looking both resigned and uncomfortable. There was a thought, wafting through the air that seemed to be only heard by Ven. **It is important to me too.**_

_“I don’t want to be here too, idiot,” Vanitas said, as rudely as he remembered the other to be. “I don’t even_ want _to be **me**. I _am _you and you_ are _me. We both should be Ventus! There wasn’t supposed to be a we or us or two of us!” Vanitas looked and sounded frustrated, but then he leaped back and Ven felt… sad. Frustrated. This feeling wasn’t_ his _but it somehow was…_

_Then it echoed, sympathy and sadness and raw emotions that Ven was sure that it wasn’t his. He didn’t even know that he_ could _feel that way. It felt so tainted yet right yet full of darkness and yet not… “W-What’s this…?” Tears were leaking from Vanitas’ eyes, his voice trembled as he looked at Ven with accusing glare. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!”_

_“I don’t know!” Then anger, white-hot and hateful, piercing like a lance. Ventus had never felt so…_ angry _before. It seemed that what he felt got echoed to Vanitas while what Vanitas felt echoed to him. It was strange to see Vanitas cry, and Ven was sure that it was weird to see him scream. He was glad that Terra and Aqua won’t ever be able to come here to see this. It scared him, but at the same time, it felt… right._

_“I don’t know, Vanitas, I don’t….” Then Ven cried, tears leaking from his eyes and it was_ right _. He hated it, but it felt right. Vanitas was crying too, his feelings amplified and echoed Ven’s own and they were crying in front of each other. Not together, but they were crying and they saw each other cry._

_“Vanitas, I…”_

_“Just… shut up. I’m tired.”_

_Then Vanitas, without any words or quips or anything, fell. Ventus gasped, not knowing what to say or what to do. Eventually, Ven went to Vanitas’ side and found that he was… asleep._

_It was somehow funny, to see Vanitas who was everything Ven wasn’t, asleep so defenselessly. He noted how alike Vanitas was with Sora, but at the same time not. Vanitas was harsher, his hair jet black and his muscles stiff, and yet Ven felt so utterly familiar with him. Then Vanitas’ empty slumber echoed to Ven, and he noted how uncomfortable Vanitas was with his clothes. Then it changed, as Ven had willed it, Vanitas’ clothes changed into a t-shirt and simple shorts, although it was black and red as opposed to Ventus’ white and gray. Vanitas didn’t seem to notice, content in his slumber._

_So Ven sat next to Vanitas, watching the memories he had been watching before and willed his memories to shift into something better._

\--

_They met every time Ven went to sleep._

_It had only been days, but time didn’t have meaning when they were inside his heart. Sometimes it felt like actual hours Ven went to sleep, others felt like days or even weeks. Since their first day, Ven noticed that if they got too riled up, Vanitas would be the first to fall. Like he wasn’t used to feeling more than one thing at once. Ven could feel pity and sadness and happiness at the same time and not break, but Vanitas didn’t seem like it._

_“I’m used to not feeling anything,” Vanitas once said after he woke up, they had been screaming at each other again and Vanitas had passed out after Ven felt particularly pitiful with the fact that Vanitas didn’t seem to want to see the pleasant memories Ven had. “I’d push them out. But since I can’t create the Unversed anymore, it’s just… different.” Which meant hard, to be honest. But Vanitas was too prideful to say so._

_They could talk without screaming now, or without making Vanitas pass out, and Ven found that it was somehow nice. He still felt off sometimes, but it was hard to feel off because they would just immediately know each other’s feelings. So Ven tried to be as civil as possible and Vanitas seemed to echo the sentiment. It was weird, still, but it was nice._

\--

_“I’ve seen almost every memory in this place,” Vanitas said one day when Ven came to sit next to him. “Wow, you must really have nothing to do, huh?” Ven answered with a grin, jabbing without any real ill-intention whatsoever. Vanitas rolled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything when Ven sat next to him on the edge of the platform, watching a memory of the time Aqua gave them all their Wayfinders. “You people are such saps. I’m glad that I never have to see them again.”_

_“Hey! Terra and Aqua are not that bad!” Then Vanitas buckled, clearly unprepared for the onslaught of love and admiration from Ventus’ side of the connection. Ven caught him easily as Vanitas’ hand found Ven’s chest, trying to steady himself and clear the lingering foreign feelings that seemed to attack him. Ven held Vanitas’ shoulders, helping him through the wave._

_“Ventus, can you…” Vanitas panted, clearly exhausted and fighting off sleep. “Can you reign your feelings for a bit? Especially things like love or affection and stuff like that. It’s too disorienting…” Ven stopped and considered it. Disorienting? That was precisely what Ven felt whenever Vanitas echoed hatred or disdain or disgust. Light and Darkness, Ventus and Vanitas. Huh?_

_“If you want to reign your hatred and disdain and disgust or stuff like that, I’ll consider it.”_

_Ven expected a biting quip from Vanitas, only to be met with nothing. Vanitas was thinking, apparent from his brows and Ven had to laugh from how dissimilar he and Sora was. “The strongest feeling that always fueled my darkness and negativity is envy, it’s strange that you don’t mention them.” Ven raised an eyebrow. Envy? As in jealous? It never really occurred to him. It almost felt like it was… natural?_

_But Ven had reacted violently towards any other negative emotions, just like Vanitas reacted violently towards positive emotions. But why would envy be different?_

_“Back to what I was going to say before you attack me with your sappiness,” Vanitas said as he nonchalantly let himself off of Ven’s hold. “How come you don’t have any memories of what happened_ before _you met Eraqus’ wh- okay- apprentices?” Ven had thrown him a look so dirty to make Vanitas digress, but then it came to him as well. Yeah. He didn’t really remember stuff from before he met Terra and Aqua and those days are blurry as well. Ven never really cared about it, he was content with being just who he was, after all. But then it occurred to him._

_Yeah. Ven was a human, Ven wasn’t a Nobody like Roxas, nor was he a Heartless or a Replica, Ven wasn’t even like Vanitas; they were all born looking exactly like they do now. Ven was human, thus he should have been born like a normal human, right? He even knew about Terra and Aqua’s homes before they became Keyblade Apprentices. So… how about him?_

_“I... no, I don’t remember… how about you?”_

_Vanitas fell silent, the two of them looked up to the wall of memories, none of them displayed what happened before Ventus met Aqua and Terra. Maybe some blurry snippets of Badlands, of Master Xehanort, but other than that…?_

_Eventually, Ven felt that the silence they shared was awkward and unbearable, so he decided to look off the platform just to satisfy his curiosity and to fill the time. But then, he saw something._

_It was faint, but it was there, a flicker of light dancing in the darkness below the stained-glass platform. Ventus leaned forward, narrowing his eyes and forcing those dancing lights into focus. There was a voice, a woman’s voice, gushing and kind and unfamiliarly familiar. Then there was a bright light and Ven…_

_“VENTUS!”_

_He was free-falling into the darkness, but then there was a bright light engulfing him, familiar and yet not. And Ven found himself in front of a wooden door, feeling inexplicably nervous._

“Master Ava, may I enter?”

“Of course, my darling Ven. Come in, come in, I’ve been expecting you!”

_Ven closed his eyes, and let himself be embraced by the light._

\--

“So let me get this straight,” Vanitas wasn’t really listening, still on the bed and desperately wanting to fall asleep again. He should find Ventus because life felt so _wrong_ without him. “You are Vanitas?” He nodded, but his mind was elsewhere. _Ventus, where are you?!_ But Vanitas couldn’t reach him, even when he _knew_ that Ventus was still within him, he couldn’t reach him.

This was his body, _he_ was Ventus, and yet he was and _wasn’t._ He remembered many things Ventus forgot, mostly about the time he was serving as Master Xehanort’s apprentice in the Badlands, but other than that, he didn’t know.

He also heard the voice that pulled Ventus to the light, it felt familiar to him too. Wasn’t it obvious? It was because he was Ventus, too. It was a woman, her voice was kind and friendly. Warm. But he had called her Master. What Master? Wasn’t his Master… Xehanort?

Did he bequeath his keyblade to him?

To Ventus?

But he remembered how warm it felt when that lady said _my darling Ven_.

“Vanitas!”

Aqua was the one shaking him out of his stupor, her eyes wide and undeniably scared. “Terra, we should go to Master Yen Sid. Ven needs us and—“

“Aqua, calm down.” Terra’s voice was firm and it was calming, Vanitas nearly sighed. Wow, Ventus must have really loved this guy to the point that he could feel relieved just by hearing him say one sentence. Terra was standing behind Aqua, his face reasonably calmer though he could see the skepticism there. Good. Vanitas would have snorted if these two would suddenly come to trust him.

It took _them_ a long time in the dream so they could have a civil conversation, after all, and that only happened because they echoed each other’s feelings.

“So, Vanitas, could you tell us why _you_ are here instead of Ven? I thought… they defeated you?”

The pause was familiar and laughable, though there was a pang of guilt there that was unmistakably Ventus. Aqua’s eyes were narrowed, it was clear to see that she didn’t trust him. That was fine, Vanitas didn’t trust her either.

“Terra, why should we listen to him? He could be lying to us, just like how he had baited you into—“

“Killing your master?”

It was harsh, and Vanitas could feel his heart wrench when both Aqua and Terra immediately threw their faces away. Vanitas figured that it must have hurt, seeing their precious little Ven talking so scathingly about their Master like that. After all, Terra had done it to protect Ventus, Vanitas had seen it within Ventus’ memory. He felt foreign in his own body, to treat these people he held so dear like this, but he was not truly Ventus.

He _was_ Ventus but at the same time, Vanitas was not truly Ventus if Ventus wasn’t _here_.

Still, the silence persisted, so Vanitas must have offended the others by talking about their Master. He didn’t care, though.

_But Ventus cares._

“Stop it, come out here if you don’t want me to hurt them.” Vanitas bit back at the gnawing feeling inside him, chanting at him that he was Ventus after all, so he shouldn’t hurt Terra and Aqua.

“Look, I don’t want to be here even more than you guys,” Vanitas started, willing his entire focus to stay in reality instead of reaching in his heart to find Ventus. “I wasn’t even expecting to still be me. I thought once reunited with Ventus, I’d just be him and stop existing. But it seemed that we’ve experienced too many different things to be the same people. And _this_ happened…” What was he supposed to say? That he saw Ventus fell to the light after they heard a woman’s voice echoing inside their head? That he woke up because the light within their heart was just too bright and Ventus had fallen into the darkness?

“How can we know that you’re telling the truth?”

_How can I be sure that you’re not just lying to me?_

“Funny, Ventus also said the same thing, so let me answer you the same way I answered him. You can’t be sure, but I am here, at least until we can merge completely and become ‘Ventus’.” There was silence from the people Ventus loved the most, people Vanitas was sure would become extremely important to him as well. But right now, at this very moment, he cannot become Ventus if _Ventus_ wasn’t here.

Aqua’s eyes swept over him, cold and harsh, and Vanitas had to grimace at the unfamiliar feeling those expressions brought him. Ventus had never seen Aqua as cold or harsh, thus it was foreign for them to experience this. When Vanitas was… well, Vanitas, it was easier to anticipate those gazes from people who hated him and there were a _lot_ of people who hated him. But…

“Aqua, I don’t think he’s lying.” Terra’s voice was calm and diffusing, hard to believe that this was happening—Terra being the calm one while Aqua being the unforgiving judge—but Vanitas assumed that Aqua was just more cautious and careful when it comes to the wellbeing of either Ventus or Terra himself. Vanitas knew that feeling, whether he wanted to admit it or not, he had _just_ gotten Ventus (himself) back, he would _never_ let him go again.

Terra had his eyes on him and it felt horribly uncomfortable to see him mapping his features like that, no doubt differentiating Ventus and Vanitas within his mind, but Vanitas persevered. This was nothing. Compared to everything he’d been through in the last decade, this was _nothing_. He _finally_ managed to be Ventus (himself) again, wearing his own face, being in his own body, and for once not feeling like he was _constantly_ missing something. It felt off without Ventus (his light) around, but it was still bearable.

If he had to play House to fulfill his objectives, then so be it.

“So… Ven is there, but you can’t reach him?” Terra began, his voice calm yet tentative. Vanitas nodded, trying to be as calm and civil as possible. “To put it in the simplest term, Ventus is… well, asleep at the moment. But since I was too riled up to keep this body sleeping, I was the one who wake up.” Or at least, that’s what he thought it was. If Vanitas had been calmer when Ventus fell, he probably would still be in that platform, waiting for Ventus to reemerge from the bizarre light.

If that kind of things is going to be a common occurrence, Vanitas might have to get used to it.

“Ven is… asleep…?” There was an unsound _again_ coming from Aqua and Vanitas caught on to it. It really was funny, really, the fact that Ventus always got himself blasted into a state of sleep, though most likely it wasn’t funny at all for Aqua. So Vanitas compromised. “Again in the simplest term, he’s most likely dreaming about my- his— _our_ past. It’s nothing like when he got his heart destroyed.”

Aqua’s eyes were on him, piercing and accusing and Vanitas narrowed his eyes. Why…?

Oh. Yeah.

She turned away, fast yet heavy steps as she stomped out of Ventus’ room to go somewhere. Both Vanitas and Terra watched as she left, but Vanitas spent no time pondering about her in favor of the sunrise. It was beautiful, the world was painted gold, and _nothing hurt._ This was what Ventus wake up to every day? It was nice…

“I’ll… try to find Aqua, I guess. Stay put…?”

The unsureness was just laughable, but Vanitas didn’t even look at Terra as he watched the sunrise, too content at the world around him to care.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter we'll finally begin with the elements of KHUX and some original elements. I am both excited and afraid that you guys might not like my indulgent Ventus exploration, littered with my attempts of headcanons to make sense of why Ventus is what he is. KHUX is by far the hardest game to make sense of so well let's go on a confusing journey together!


	3. Spectacles in Perspectives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ven saw himself being not-so-him while Aqua and Terra put on their best attempt on clearing the air around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting on a weekend so I could settle the updating schedule on Sundays instead of on weekdays. I always love questions, theories, and ponderings, please feel free to share them with me!

It felt weird.

Ventus was _here_ , he was the one opening the door, but at the same time it _wasn’t_. He was just watching himself from his own head, experiencing things yet at the same time only watching. There was a flutter of nervousness he didn’t feel, but it didn’t feel like an echo with Vanitas. It was nowhere as intense, but he was here and he was experiencing it.

He opened the door and walked inside a beautiful study. There were books cluttering the table, the floor, and basically everywhere, but it was an orderly chaos. The room strangely felt like Master Eraqus’ study, a place of balance where neither Light or Darkness thrived. It was just… balance.

There was a woman inside, she was wearing a hood that made her resemble a fox and Ven reflexively bowed his head, not quite understanding why. There was a flutter of respect and he acknowledged the feeling because it was unbearably nostalgic.

The hooded woman smiled to him, her figure bathed in the sunset as she petted a creature that suspiciously looked like a cat. It felt familiar, somehow, that cat. As if on cue, the cat leaped from the lady’s hand and into his own, giggling as it did so. Ven caught him on reflex, confusion apparent on his face as he turned to the lady, who was beaming at him. “Oh look, she likes you!” She walked closer to him, her steps light and simple. “Really, I’ve always wanted you to be a Vulpes, darling Ven. But you have to go and choose Gula instead.”

“Master Gula bequeathed me my keyblade, Lady Ava,” Ven answered with an easy laugh. “I am already grateful that he did so, since I don’t really amount to anything.”

…huh?

Master Gula?

Ven didn’t know any Gula. Could it be what Vanitas said was right? Master Xehanort wasn’t the one who gave Ventus his keyblade?

Amidst his own confusion, the lady—apparently named Lady Ava—had her hand on his face, grasping his cheek with an easy grace. It felt like Aqua’s touch, kind and gentle, but Ven lightly cast her aside and stepped back. “Is there something you wish to tell me, Lady Ava? Master Gula was very dire in his instructions to come immediately.” He said as he scratched his chin sheepishly.

Lady Ava had a look that Ven couldn’t understand on her face, but she turned to him with a smile. “I don’t think that’s true, Ven. Gula is a very calculating person, he would never have chosen you if he thought that you won’t be a beneficial keyblade wielder for the world, even with your unique background. You amount to something; of that I am very sure.” Ven smiled shyly before bowing, but then he had a stern look on his face once more. He didn’t know he could look like that. “So, Lady Ava, is there something you wish to tell me?”

“It certainly have something to do with how you amount to something or not, Ventus. I want you to be a part of the Dandelions.”

“The Dandelions, my lady?”

Lady Ava had a solemn look on her face. “The Master of Masters have foretold the keyblade war happening and he had asked me to gather exceptional keyblade wielders from each union to form a separate faction to entrust the world after the war to them. I am asking you to be a part of this faction, darling Ven.”

Ventus was silent, blue gaze piercing at Lady Ava, contemplating. It was really weird, to see himself so silent and deep in thought like this. Ven has always fashioned himself an easygoing person, so it was simply off-putting to see and feel this way.

Or was this the Vanitas part of him?

“Are… are you asking me to betray my Union, Lady Ava?”

His voice sounded… dire, grave, and Ven was pretty sure that he never had that kind of tone when talking before. And neither have Vanitas, if he remembered correctly from all their past interactions. This Ventus was very much a stranger to him, and probably to Vanitas as well.

Lady Ava shook her head. “Of course not. Why do you think Gula allows you to come see me in the first place? The existence of these Dandelions have been foretold by the Master, if anything, it means that you will be one of the new pillars of the world who came from Leopardus Union. You are not betraying your Union, or even Gula himself, you are representing them in the new world.”

And that seemed to get him, because Ven could feel the fluttering relief from faraway as he relaxed his stance and smiled. “In that case, then I will be very honored, Lady Ava.”

“Ah, always so polite and proper. Your family would be very proud, Ven.”

Family…?

“Thank you, Lady Ava.” But he was tense, instead. “If there’s nothing else, I would like to return to my Union now. We were going to head out when my summon came.”

No, wait! Speak more of their family!

“You should know that the Halzen Villa is just a villa, Ven. You can live there, but that place won’t ever be your home. Your true home is—“

“The Halzen Manor, yes, I know where it is located. You are a very kind person, Lady Ava, so kindly let me mind my own business, please.” Ven was smiling, but there was an unmistakable apprehension coming out from his voice and it had taken him aback. “If there’s nothing else, Lady Ava, I would like to return now. Thank you very much for this opportunity, I will be sure to not disappoint you.” And then he left.

There was a flurry of feelings that weren’t his. Pride, irritation, warmth, happiness, it felt fast and at the same time not. It wasn’t his, after all. But then Ventus stopped in front of a mirror and saw himself; his hair is shorter, and he wasn’t wearing his armor, he looked… young.

But it was the next words that shocked him the most.

“You’re in there, aren’t you? Who are you?”

\--

There was a spot in the library Master Eraqus once showed Terra while holding his hand. He was a child back then, not even as tall as Ven. The Master had a fond yet exasperated smile on his much younger face. “If you ever need to find Aqua when she is upset, this should be the first place you come to.” Back then, Terra didn’t understand why Master Eraqus felt the need to tell him that since Aqua is rarely upset. If anything, Terra was almost always the one who walked away upset if they got into their petty arguments, so Terra only nodded and said that he’d keep it in mind.

Now, though, he couldn’t feel more grateful.

Aqua was standing on that very spot, looking as if she was casually browsing for a book, but Terra knew better. It was… comforting, to see Aqua like this. He knew that he probably shouldn’t take comfort in Aqua’s distress, but he couldn’t help but feel so. Because there she was, Master Aqua, beautiful and calm and wise and sensitive and _familiar._ She was so… _Aqua._

Terra never realized how wonderful it was to just _know_ things. He only realized now that sometimes, he would see the way Ven would anxiously glance at the windows every time he realized that the stars are beautiful just so he could go outside there and then and he would just attribute it to the words ‘Ven being Ven’ and it was comforting. And here he was, watching as Aqua casually try to brush the fact that she was upset by running to her comfort place. This was ‘Aqua being Aqua’ and Terra was unable to hold back a chuckle.

Aqua turned to face him, her eyes wide and expression surprised. She didn’t need to say anything for Terra to know the question she was asking inside her head and Terra smiled at her. “I miss this,” Terra breathed, more to himself than to Aqua because he had _really_ missed this. Years of his life lost in the darkness, equal parts of despair and determination propelling him to _someday return and protect his friends_ , and when he _finally_ got into the light Aqua and Ven were there _just_ as he remembered them to be.

(He knew that it wouldn’t last long, with the many things hung unspoken between him and Aqua and this mysterious thing that is happening to Ven. But Terra relished at the fact that no matter what happens, Ven and Aqua will _always_ be Ven and Aqua.)

Terra sucked in a breath as he sat down on the nearest chair and fixed his gaze on Aqua and Aqua alone. He missed this, he missed _her_. He missed the fact that he and Ven were the only reason why the calm and collected Master Aqua can lose her temper. He missed everything about the light and it was _great_ to be back.

“I just… I miss this.”

Terra was not an eloquent person. He wasn’t good with words like Aqua was, he wasn’t effortlessly friendly like Ven was. But he found home in the two of them. Terra realized that he never told them that, never told them how much they mattered, how they were his _home_.

Aqua sat next to him, smiling a fond yet sad smile Terra caught her doing too many times every time he and Ven make fun of each other, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. Terra sighed as he grasped her hand on his own, facing her onward and grounding her with his touch. Aqua was always like her namesake, she had slipped out of Terra’s hands without him realizing it for too many times. But not this time. Not for this.

“Aqua—“

“I know I shouldn’t have done that.”

Terra knew many things about Aqua, and he definitely knew how Aqua had the tendency to brush things she didn’t like aside. _Like a river that washes away everything_ , Master used to say to him and Ven after Aqua had a particularly bad day, and this was one of those things she tried to wash away.

Vanitas.

Terra had his own doubts about Vanitas, obviously. The masked boy had played a huge role on the day his life fell apart, goading Ven into leaving Land of Departure to chase him had triggered Aqua into leaving as well and in the end, many chain of events happened until they all convened at the Keyblade Graveyard. And yet, somehow, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for him at that room.

He was wearing Ven’s face, a comforting face Terra knew to be bright and cheery and overflowing with determination and admiration; but instead he had looked extremely lost and confused. _Fragile_ , even, when he spoke to them earlier. It was too obvious that he wasn’t Ven, but somehow… he also _was_. Terra remembered how Ven looked at the day they were reunited, when he and Sora talked with Vanitas; he had been serious, an rare look on Ven’s usually smiling face when he reigned Sora’s own frustration towards Vanitas with a simple grace.

_I didn’t ask for this; to be sifted apart nice and neat. We should be free to choose, not just light, not just darkness, we decide what we are._

Ven accepted Vanitas.

Who was Terra to deny Vanitas a chance?

But he understood Aqua’s disposition, because Aqua had a strong of principle of what is light and what is dark. Even when she had walked in the darkness, Aqua remained a light. One of the many things they had let hang in the air had been the brief moment Aqua fell to the darkness before Riku, Sora, and Mickey saved her. Terra knew, but whenever he wanted to address it, Aqua’s gaze and attention would seamlessly shift to whatever Ven was doing at the time. Terra knew that Aqua was avoiding him and he knew that she knew as well. They knew each other too much to speak each other’s minds.

But they can’t let things hang in the air forever.

So Terra put her hand on top of his knee and secured it there. He was serious. This was about Ven and Terra does _not_ compromise when it concerns Ven and/or Aqua.

“Ven had went through a lot,” _we all have._ “And even through all of that, he accepted Vanitas. I just think…” _that we should honor what Ven wanted._ “I just think that we should give him a chance.”

“Ven is kind.” Pride. Resignation. Distrust. Terra knew, Terra felt the same. Ven is kind. They never wanted to turn a blind eye to the fact that Aqua and Terra distrusted each other and themselves at some point, that was just logic that came with time and experience. Ven was a child, Ven was made of light, Ven is kind, while they…

“I promise we’ll talk to Ven as soon as we can. About Vanitas. About everything. Please just…” _try to see more into what darkness entails? It is not all bad, because I…_ “…just try to keep an open mind, okay?”

Aqua exhaled a long breath and put her other hand on top of Terra’s own, sighing.

“For you, Terra. For you.”

For now, that was good enough.

\--

Aqua had her gaze on Vanitas, unrelenting and unyielding as the dark creature darted around the kitchen to make himself coffee.

It was jarring to say at the least, because Ven never even _had_ coffee in his life and yet Vanitas had been casual about it. He had come to the kitchen, his eyes catching Aqua and Terra—who were having breakfast together—in a glance before he casually strode into the kitchen with no sense of shame. Terra had been watching him as well, but he eventually shrugged and decided not to address the elephant in the room. It irritated Aqua, to see him so… permissive about this entire situation. Here they were, in a home they loved the most. They should be serving each other’s breakfast and eat together while they discuss what they were going to do in the day, just like old times. But instead they had this _enemy_ darting around in Ven’s body while serving himself a coffee that was _not_ meant for him.

Then it came like a lightning in a cloudless sky.

Vanitas stopped dead in his tracks, ignoring the steaming kettle as his eyes glazed. His breath hitched on his throat and he just… _fell._ Aqua gasped as she leaped near him, catching Ven’s body from falling head first into the stove. Vanitas’ eyes were wide open, his mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something but he couldn’t. Fear gripped Aqua’s heart, slowly but surely as she began to lose perception that _this was Vanitas, not Ven._ But seeing Ven like this reminded her of the first days Ven had spent here and it didn’t sit well with her.

“V-Ventus…?”

It was Vanitas who said it, his hands trying to grab ahold of something that does not exist. He was trembling, bordering on convulsing as he panted and try to catch his own breath. Terra scrambled to the nearest pantry to get him some water, but Vanitas remained unseeing of them.

Aqua steeled herself and took a deep breath. _This is for Ven’s sake, not anyone else._ She placed her hand on Ven’s cheek and started to call.

“V-Vanitas, what’s—“

“Tell me everything. Now.” Vanitas said abruptly, seething and malicious as he convulsed. “I think… I think he’s talking to Ven…” Terra knelt next to her, a cup of hot water in hand as he watched their enemy seethed and eventually fall asleep in Aqua’s arms.

It happened fast, too fast for her to fully comprehend. Ven has always been like a flurry of winds he was named after, but this was just too different from everything she had experienced before. It was supposed to be clear, Vanitas was darkness, Ven was light, Aqua was light and all she needed to do was to fend Vanitas _off_ and not cradle him in her arms like this.

But at the same time _it was Ven._ Ven was the one sleeping in her arms, blonde hair instead of jet black, easygoing features instead of stiff ones. Aqua shook her head. Okay. She would take him to Master Yen Sid right now. She wondered the time in the mysterious towers, but she didn’t care. Or the Disney Castle would be a better choice? Or Radiant Garden where Ienzo and the others were? Or maybe… Roxas is the best since he’s the closest thing to Ven’s—!

“Aqua, take a deep breath.”

Terra’s hands were on top of her own, both warm and calm as he let half of Ven lean on him, effectively cradling their youngest friend between the two of them. Terra’s gaze was boundlessly kind, concerned and yet trusting, as if he believed that Ven would pull through whatever it is that were plaguing him right now. But… does that mean… she didn’t trust Ven…?

“I may not understand the burden you carry all those years… when you were all alone in the darkness, chasing me and trying your hardest to keep your promise to Ven…” …Terra acknowledged it. One of the many things they had let linger yet never spoke of. Terra’s gaze won’t meet hers, but his hands were big and warm and _grounding_. “But this time… this time I’m here too, Aqua. Ven is as precious to me as he is to you, and if he’s in trouble, _of course_ I’d help him. Whatever it takes.” There was a glint of possessiveness, but it didn’t feel like darkness. Aqua watched as Terra’s hand grazed over Ven’s cheek, a gesture she had done a million times before, but watching Terra did it was… _calming._

“So please, talk to me,” Terra’s blue gaze finally met her own. Worry, concern, underlying fear and belief that _Ven will pull through_ reflected in his eyes somehow managed to convey a million of words unsaid. Aqua knew. She knew that Terra knew. Even amidst the uncertainty of what they have right now, they have Ven and nothing’s ever going to change that. “Let’s share our minds, Aqua.”

There are many things they couldn’t say, not even when they were alone. But when it comes to Ven, Aqua will _not_ compromise.

So she let her hand wander to Terra’s shoulder, tightening the hug all three of them share, her eyes watering. “I’m scared, Terra. Do you really think that we don’t need to take him to Master Yen Sid?” He would know. Master Eraqus was no longer with them, after all. Master Yen Sid was the closest thing Aqua had as a mentor. She may be a Keyblade Master by title, but she was too far from that. She…

“We’ll take him. First thing in the morning after Ven wakes up.”

“What if the one who woke up is _not_ Ven?”

Terra casted his gaze downwards, watching Ven and avoiding Aqua’s inquiry. They let silence hang between them before eventually, Terra exhaled a long breath. “If it’s not Ven who wakes, I’ll talk to him. Do you remember what Master Eraqus said about the light?”

“There’s more to the light than what meets the eye…” Aqua’s answer brought a solemn smile on Terra’s face as he sighed. “I think that goes for darkness too. Let me talk to Vanitas, Aqua. I know that some of your concerns come from Vanitas’ presence, so please, let’s quell that together.”

Terra was… different. He was probably a Master all on his own too, because he was certainly calmer than Aqua when dealing with this entire ordeal. Even when she was unwilling to admit it, Terra’s existence made her think the same way. Maybe there _was_ something more to the darkness than what she’s willing to know.

Aqua took a deep breath and started anew. “Okay then, we’ll talk with Vanitas tomorrow.”

Maybe there was something more to the darkness than what meets the eye.

Maybe there was something more to Vanitas than what met her eyes.

 


	4. Chirithy pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanitas has a civil conversation with a doll-cat thing that is horribly familiar while Ven met his past (or future?) best friend.

When the sun had risen above the horizon, Vanitas was suddenly pulled out of his own musings.

The Land of Departure was bright, yet it wasn’t blinding like Destiny Islands or Radiant Garden were. Light and darkness existed in balance here, thus it was always somewhat easier to breathe here than anywhere else Vanitas remembered. The Badlands had a lot of darkness and the sleeping lights of the thousand keyblades that have been abandoned during the previous keyblade war, they existed in a teetering balance that might crumble any time it chose and it always felt like bad things were going to happen there.

(Vanitas used to think that the ever-present on-the-edge feel he got whenever he was in the Keyblade Graveyard was because that will be the place he and Ventus would have their destined fight. Vanitas will be reunited with Ventus and forge the X-blade there, that was why that place gave him the chills of _anticipation)_

The Master’s Nobody, Xemnas had explained to him that the reason why he would get underlying nausea whenever he visited the Radiant Garden or Destiny Islands was because of his natural affinity for darkness. Vanitas would feel sick being in any world that was dominated by the light. So it was a plus that Ventus lived in Land of Departure then, at least he won’t feel sick by the light.

Or… could it be now that he was reunited with Ventus, he just won’t feel sick by the light in general?

Vanitas took a deep breath and went over to the mirror next to the drawers, checking his own reflection and he was filled with a sense of fulfillment he had never experienced before in his entire existence.

His eyes were blue, his hair was blond, he was _Ventus_ , in every shape or form. Vanitas tried letting out sounds and he sounded _just like Ventus_. He was _himself_. He was _Ventus_ and he couldn’t help but laugh at it. Ventus was weak, Ventus was _nothing_ compared to him, he knew that and he believed that. He was the better half, but here he was; laughing and crying at the fact that he was _Ventus_.

He had told Sora that Sora had defined him, it was true to the fault and Vanitas truly believed that, but truth of the matter he didn’t tell was… _he didn’t want to be defined by Sora._

He wanted to be defined by Ventus, by _himself_ —not an empty creature coming from Ventus—just _Ventus_.

Vanitas exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding before.

“I really have to get it together.” Vanitas chuckled to himself as he went over Ventus’ drawer, trying to find clothes so he could get breakfast. This was all new to him, really, because he never really needed to eat or to consciously select his clothes. Vanitas’ definition of eating had been to let the Unversed fed him the surplus screams and he had never really bothered to change anything he had on. His bodysuit was an extension of him, it wasn’t something he wore. But strangely the motion seemed easy and familiar, further proving that he was human once.

He really wasn’t done putting on his t-shirt when suddenly, there was a sound of light footsteps coming from behind his bed.

“Good morning, Ven!”

Vanitas stared—absolutely dumbfounded—at the cat doll with a cape and a pouch standing on the bed, smiling up at him like he meant _so much_. But tears were leaking down his eyes again as the other tilted its head and let out a ‘hmmm’ sound because Vanitas didn’t greet them back. Why, though? Why was this doll important? Who…

“Ven, what’s wrong?” The doll had its ears folded and its eyebrows knitted together, clear concern apparent on its face as he approached Vanitas without any apprehension. Vanitas kneeled and offered it his hand. “It’s nothing, Chirithy.” _What?_

Who was Chirithy?

Why would Vanitas know _anything_ about this strange creature, let alone call it by _name_?

But the doll seemed unbothered as it took Vanitas’ hand and looked up to him with a frown. “If you’re not Ven, you really don’t need to answer you know…” It wasn’t disdain or distrust, but it was a genuine _pout_. Vanitas had seen Aqua and Terra gave him both things when he said he was Ventus, but coming from this doll, it was… odd.

Ventus had taken this doll in his arms, welcoming and warm and comforting and everything that Ventus were. He didn’t question the existence of the doll that suddenly claimed it wanted to be with Ventus forever, he smiled and laugh when the doll said they were friends, but Vanitas was different. He was skeptical.

“Oh, so you know who I am then?” Vanitas smirked, seriously laughing at himself for starting an argument with a strange doll. But it gripped Vanitas’ hand harder as it smiled. “Of course I do. You should just say that it’s you, Ventus.” Then it jumped to Vanitas’ arms, forcing Vanitas to catch him with a hug. “I’m sorry, I know you hate it when I do that. But I’ve missed you! Just as much as I miss Ven!” Chirithy held him close and it felt utterly familiar. He just couldn’t place where…

_I appreciate you doing this whenever I need comfort, Chirithy, but please don’t just tackle me into a hug whenever you feel like it._

“Chirithy, I…”

“You really don’t remember anything, do you Ventus?”

Chirithy had a frown on his face, its doll eyes shouldn’t have any effect on Vanitas but it _does_. It was sad and piercing, like Vanitas should have remembered, like they had shared this conversation once before and being very hurt about it. And yet the only thing he could say was…

“No.”

Silence dawned between the two of them, but then Chirithy kissed Vanitas’ cheek with a smile on his face. “It’s okay. Everything will be okay. Do you want me to get Ven for you?”

There were so many questions Vanitas wanted to ask him. How come he called him Ventus? And by Ven did he mean _Ventus_? Most of all, what is this creature and why does it seem like it knew more about him than even Vanitas himself?!

“...sure.”

Chirithy smiled, familiar and comforting as he leaped away from Vanitas’ arms. “Okay. Please don’t forget to eat breakfast and drink coffee when I am gone, you can get very cranky without one of those two!” Then he disappeared with a wave.

‘Eat breakfast’ and ‘drink coffee’ were two things Vanitas never remembered doing. He never needed to eat, never wanted to or bothered to. He’d seen memories of Ventus eating and how happy it made him, but it didn’t echo to Vanitas at all. His memory of eating was watching the Unversed opening the yellow canister of screams from Monstropolis and regaining strength from each of them, but Chirithy had spoken as if eating breakfast and drinking coffee was a routine to him…

Vanitas didn’t know why Ventus welcomed it with opened arms and nostalgic smile other than his light’s usual friendliness and affinity for dumb stuff. But Chirithy was a different case, because there was _something_ about the doll’s presence that Vanitas craved.

“Urg, guess I’ll get breakfast and coffee, whatever that is.” And Vanitas was glad he knew where the kitchen was solely from Ventus’ infinite love of the place.

\--

Ven was walking away from the town.

His steps were slow and relaxed, as if he was sightseeing around the town for the first time. That might have been true for Ven, but it shouldn’t have been for this Ventus and it confused him. So Ven tried to focus on the fluttery feeling that was the telltale of this Ventus’ feelings, only to be found with nothing other than general boredom. So Ven walked along the path that took him further away from town and all the way to a huge house in the middle of the forest.

There was a pang of loneliness, of resigned eyes and defeated frown, nothing significant enough for Ven to pick up but it was there. Ventus had been excited earlier. He knew that Ventus was both excited and confused at Lady Ava’s invitation for him to join the Dandelions. Ventus had heard of their existence before, a group of exclusive keyblade wielders from different Unions who are trained in a secret place by Lady Ava herself, and he had been confused at it himself. Alliances between Unions are strictly forbidden by all the Masters, so why would this faction existed then? If they weren’t gathering Lux for the sake of their Unions, then why did they exist in the first place?

“I really need to stop overthinking stuff…” Ventus exhaled to himself as he pushed open the iron fence that barred strangers from entering the big house.

The house was… big, that much Ven could pick up. He had lived in the castle of Land of Departure for as long as he could remember, yes, but he knew that in general, normal people don’t live in castles. It was a beautiful mansion with two stories, there were swings on the tree just a few meters away from the wooden double doors that served as the mansion’s entrance. The House was old, but obviously well-cared for. There were patches of flowers along with flowery ivies growing alongside the house’s brick walls. Old, quaint, lovely; it was a home obviously catered to Ventus’ tastes.

“Welcome home, young master.”

Within the confine of his mind, Ven was obviously startled by the deep voice, but Ventus only casted his glance at the dark-skinned man and nodded at recognition. “Thanks, Dusk. I want to be on my own for a bit, please don’t disturb me until dinner.” Whoa… he sounded so… different. He never knew that he could sound authoritative like that. Obviously since he lived with Aqua, Terra, and the Master in Land of Departure, it meant that Ven never had any servant to speak of. Not to mention the fact that Ven was the youngest of his friends he’d never had anyone that was underneath him in any way, it was foreign yet at the same time it wasn’t. _I guess that’s where Vanitas got his mocking voice, huh…?_

The man, Dusk, bowed his head but he looked up and it caught Ventus’ attention. “Yes?”

“Forgive me sir, but your friend is here.”

“My _friend_?” Incredulity, like he didn’t believe that he had friends at all. Ven felt that it was sad, but the fluttering feeling spoke of incredulousness and disbelief, like the notion of having someone to call him a friend was a farfetched hope. Wow. Just… wow. “Is it my Chirithy…?”

“No, sir, he claims to be in the same Union as you are.”

Ventus narrowed his eyes.

_That’s impossible,_ he thought. _Nobody should have known that I live here. Unless…_

“Okay, I’ll tend to him. Where is he now?”

“By the pool, sir. Should I just tell him that you don’t wish to be disturbed?” Ventus shook his head. “No, it’s alright. Maybe you can fix us dinner?”

“At once, young master.”

Ventus took a deep breath and went inside the house.

The interior of the house was simple and yet definitely not something he would have picked out himself. It was simple and homey, like the house was, and there were framed pictures all around the tables and drawers and walls. Ven hoped that Ventus would take a look at them, just so he could find out more about this… situation. Most probably the past. A Ventus both Ven and Vanitas did _not_ know or remember.

But Ventus walked straight to a black door right across a wooden staircase and was immediately assaulted by a blue sight.

It was… a swimming pool, complete with slides and artificial trees and even _sands_. But what drew Ventus’ attention was not the grandness of the room, it was a boy sitting on one of the lazy chairs plucking at a weird instrument and singing a song about stars and keyblades.

Ventus approached him with narrowed eyes.

“Excuse me, who are you? The only person in Leopardus who knows that I live here is Master Gula, and you’re _definitely_ not him.”

He was met with a pair of mischievous blue eyes, sparkling and twinkling as he looked back at him with a grin. “Ohhhh is that how you greet a person who’s bringing second-most Lux for the Union? You’re horrible, Ven!” Ven clearly didn’t know who this person was, but he could feel myriads of emotions coming from Ventus and it hit him harder than mere flutters. Love, rage, disappointment, guilt, intense regret.

_Do you really think that I’m going to let you go alone?! You’re not seriously thinking of that, are you?!_

_Dandelions be damned! Union Leaders be damned! Stop being an idiot, you’re not a murderer!_

_I would—should run, but I’m staying to protect you, just like you’ve protected us. Come on! Dance, water, dance!_

“Ahhh, the rumors _are_ true. Not only are you an aloof airhead, you’re _also_ super forgetful. It’s a pleasure to meet you again, _Ventus Halzen_.” There was a grimace, panic, and _fear_ fluttering together underneath his stomach at the call of his name and it was really odd. “I’m Myde Ilma! We partied once before to gather Lux and came as MVPs of the day!”

Ven couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t see anything as the scenery blurred together. He was here, he was in a barren wasteland in the middle of the rain, he was in his bedroom, he was laughing by the fountain, he was surrounded by people who told him that they trusted him, and he… he—!

_“That’s enough, Ven. Let’s return now.”_

And Ven was forcibly yanked away from the memory, he saw himself narrowing his eyes at Myde, who was grinning like he hadn’t just stalked him and entered his house without his permission. But then he fell face-first into the familiar stained-glass platform and it had _hurt_.

\--

_The platform shook at his arrival and Ven found himself surrounded by his memories again, floating in a circular wall, but this time… there were other memories he hadn’t seen before._

_Myde. Myde Ilma. He knew that name. It had mattered a lot to him. He…_

_“V-Ventus…?”_

_That was Vanitas’ voice cutting through the darkness, but Vanitas himself wasn’t there. Ven didn’t care, though, he kept searching for the memories, but then he realized his cat standing a few meters away from him, staring._

_“Was that you? Did you pull me away from there?”_

_His darling cat nodded, its expression heavy and sad, but it stood its ground. He felt familiar with this, with being in what seemed to be a standstill with his dearest friend, but Chii loved him and there wasn’t a speck of doubt in Ven’s mind. Even now he could feel it, the silent concern and underlying worry that Ven would reject him. It was... familiar._

_“Ventus wanted me to come and get you, Ven.” Chii said as he fiddled with the pouch around his neck, his eyes not quite meeting Ven’s own. “Ventus…? Which Ventus is this…?” Was it him or Vanitas or the Ventus he’d seen just now? It was really confusing._

_As if sensing his confusion, Chii drew closer to him, but he remained away from Ven. He looked apprehensive, as if contemplating if Ven wanted him closer or not. Ven exhaled a deep breath and opened his arms like had done days ago, smiling and inviting Chii to come to his arms._

_He didn’t know what Chii was, but Ven knew that he wanted him close. He had smiled and hugged the cat closer when Chii hugged him with shaking hands, there weren’t any words needed. He knew what Chii was, he even_ knew _that Chii was Chii without asking his name. He didn’t know_ why _but he knew. He just knew Chii._

_(He can trust Chii with his life, he knew that)_

_So Chii perked up and leaped towards him, hugging him like he had done days ago outside of his dream. Chii kissed his cheek and settled on Ven’s shoulder and it felt extremely nostalgic. Ven laughed as he sat in front of the new memories, still not paying attention as he idly tickled Chii’s stomach with his fingers. “So, Vanitas asked you to get me?”_

_“Yes, Ventus asked me to get you. I am sorry if I pulled you out so abruptly. It was on your first meeting with Myde, too. I’m really really sorry…”_

_“He… is important to me, isn’t he?”_

_“Very,” Chii said as he watched the memory of Myde plucking at his instrument. “He is your first friend in Leopardus, he went on to be your best friend, too. He… loved you a lot.” Silence dawned as Ven watched the memories of himself laughing and playing with Myde in the old house that was strangely very appealing to him. “That was… my home, huh?” Ven pondered, watching the memories, before he perked up with a gasp._

_“Hey Vanitas!” Ven called into the vast darkness above him. “My—_ Our _full name is Ventus Halzen and I think we’re very rich!”_

_Suddenly, Vanitas appeared in the middle of the platform, his eyes wild and his steps shaky as he stomped to Ven’s place. His gaze flicked to Chii for a split second before returning to Ven again, his golden eyes burning with curiosity. “Tell me everything. Now.”_

_And so Ven did._

_He willed the memories to show Vanitas what he had seen, what he had felt. Unlike Ven, Vanitas didn’t seem weirded out by the sheer difference shown by the Ventus of that time, it didn’t confuse Vanitas that Ventus sounded dire and grave or how he felt incredulous that someone came to his house saying that they were his friend. However, it was Myde’s appearance that struck Vanitas into silence._

_At first Ven thought that Vanitas would buckle down, overwhelmed by Ventus’ emotions and memories, but he didn’t. Vanitas shed silent tears as he watched Myde grinning up at him, but it didn’t last long either because Vanitas already took a deep breath and exhaled. His eyes were still intent on the memories._

_“Okay so we got to know a lot of stuff. First, our name. That was reassuring.” They…_ belonged _somewhere. Not just some speck in the history of keyblade wielders. Not just apprentice of Xehanort, not just a wielder who had no life outside of their attempt to master keyblades. Ventus Halzen had a family, had a mansion, had a villa, had a_ servant _. He had a Master, he had a friend, he had… a life._

_“Second, the Dandelions. What are they?”_

_“I really don’t know about what Unions are, too. Just… it felt close to the word family judging by my- his-_ our _reaction to the prospect of betraying them. And there must be a few other Unions, because that Lady Ava person had said Vulpeus while we are part of Leopardus. How many more are there?”_

_“There are five Unions, each led by a different Master.” Chii supplied, earning narrowed eyes from Ven and Vanitas. “You were part of the Leopardus Union, led by Foreteller Gula. Lady Ava is the leader of another Union, the Vulpeus. There are also Foreteller Invi with the Anguis, Foreteller Aced with the Ursus, and lastly Foreteller Ira with the Unicornis.” Both Ven and Vanitas flinched at the mention of Foreteller Ira and Unicornis; they shared a look before returning their gazes to Chii. “The Dandelion is a different faction that serves a different purpose than a Union.”_

_“What is the purpose of a Union?” Ven asked, earning a smile from Chii. “The primary function of the Unions is to maintain the balance of power between the Foretellers. And to train the many keyblade wielders that existed at that time according to the Masters’ visions. They fought to get as many Lux as possible so they could protect the light of Kingdom Hearts from the darkness. But the main purpose of Lady Ava’s Dandelion is to prepare the next generation of keyblade wielders for the world after the Keyblade War.”_

_Silence fell between the three of them. They found out so much and yet know so little. But… one thing Ven knew for sure was he and Vanitas really used to be the same person. It felt weird to the two of them, because they’ve always known each other separately, or at least… that’s how It was for Ven. He never really knew what Vanitas thought of anything except how he viewed his own existence. Their last conversation had been clear, Ventus was light and Vanitas was the shadow he casted when he shined. But now that this happened, Ven finally realized that he and Vanitas really_ were _the same person._

_And yet… Ventus Halzen was a different entity altogether from Ven and Vanitas; he was Ven—fiercely loyal though shy, unfailingly kind, always falling short, shining with hidden potential and yet oblivious to his own merits—but he was also Vanitas—apprehensive, scathing, skeptical, and harsh—and yet he was also none of them…_

_“Hey guys…?”_

_Chii was the one who broke the silence between them, leaping away from Ven’s shoulder to stand in front of them. “I know this is hard, but… I hope you guys can pull through. I know Ventus. He is… very kind. But he is also a very lonely person. I really do wish that you guys can get to know him too…” They both wanted this. They both wanted to know more about the person they had been before Xehanort and this was their chance._

_Vanitas was the first one to stand, his eyes wandered at the memories without any regards to Ven or Chii, but then he exhaled and spoke. “What Lady Ava said… what you said… does that mean we existed way before the keyblade war? In the age of fairy tales?” Ven was looking at him intently and so did Chii. But Chii was the one who answered. “You did. We did. These memories… they finally have the chance to resurface now that you two are together again. I’ve seen everything from the final world and… I really wish that you two can gain some solace from your own memories…”_

_Ven sighed, trying to offer a comforting smile to Chii, who looked as if the world was ending. Vanitas was silent, still discerning the memories with his own eyes. It was honestly scary to think about a him he didn’t know, but Chii was also right. Ven really do wanted to know about himself after all._

_“I’ll need some time to watch these,” Vanitas said, his voice sharply reminded Ven of Ventus’ own voice when talking to Dusk. “You should wake up, Ventus. I’m pretty sure your friends are going to flip after I suddenly left like that.”_

_Oh!! Terra and Aqua!!_

_“Ah! Okay then! Chii, do you want to wake up with me or do you want to stay with Vanitas?”_

_Chii turned to look at him and then to Vanitas, his gaze eventually lingered on Vanitas, so Ven smiled at him._

_“Okay. I’ll see you later then Chii.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. My personal headcanon for Chirithy's personality will be fleshed out in the next chapter, when he interacts with people other than 'Ventus'. And we get Ventus (and Vanitas)' full name! The Halzens are one of the many important original elements of this story to fill the gap I think exists in Ven's character.
> 
> And Myde!!! I am super excited for him.


	5. Chirithy pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aqua observes Chirithy as Chirithy observes her. Terra tries to change the status quo. Ventus has to deal with his friends while Vanitas deals with the memories of Ventus Halzen and Chirithy's machinations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While reading this story, I advise my readers to keep in mind that no one is a reliable narrator in this story, everyone has a piece of truth that others don't, so nothing written is necessarily the 'truth' and everything is up to your own interpretations as well.

Ven was always effortlessly friendly.

This was a fact both Aqua and Terra knew, accepted, and were extremely proud of. Ven was kind, sincere, open, and the atmosphere would always brighten whenever he was around. Lea had thought so, Ienzo had thought so, even _Isa_ had thought so. When Riku and Mickey invited them for a day in the beach, Aqua and Terra had been slightly apprehensive about going; after all Aqua had beaten Riku and Mickey in the realm of darkness when she briefly succumbed to the darkness. Terra had been actively trying to hunt them all down, snuffing their lights away as to pull them all into endless darkness he himself had been trapped in. But Ven’s eyes had lit up like he had seen the most brilliant stars he didn’t need to say anything for Aqua and Terra to sigh and eventually agree to come.

Ven had smiled and laughed as he ran to the beach where everyone had gathered. He beamed at Roxas without an ounce of doubt, dubbing him a brother and Xion a sister. He introduced himself to Namine with a shy smile, complimenting how pretty she looked with a shy murmur. He effortlessly introduced Aqua and Terra to his newly-dubbed siblings and equally as effortless in initiating a game of Frisbee between him, Lea, and Isa.

(Talking to Roxas had been an experience for both her and Terra. He was… rough on the edges, his shoulders heavier with thoughts, his smiles full of underlying emotions that are hard to explain, and most of all: the way he and Xion gravitate and orbit one another in a perfect harmony of dependency…

She hoped with all her heart that Ventus would never have such a disposition in his life)

Ven was always effortlessly friendly, a fact Aqua knew, accepted, and has always been proud of, but the cat he had brought in his arms right after they buried Master Eraqus’ keyblade was a whole new thing altogether.

“Ah, who’s this?” She had gushed over how cute it was, using her ‘baby voice’ as she cooed at the little cat-doll. Terra had rolled his eyes, but he had been the first to notice the blank look on Ven’s face as Aqua offered her hand to the cat. She was still cooing without realizing what happened when Terra waved his hand in front of Ven, obviously worried and alarmed.

“Hey Ven, are you okay?” Terra said, his voice laced with tense curiosity. Aqua only noticed the blank look on Ven’s face then and she was about to say something when Ven’s arms tightened around the cat and _exhaled._

_“Chii…”_

Ven sounded so… relieved. Sad and possessive and yet warm. It was a foreign voice on Ven’s usually chipper tone, but then his face broke into a huge smile that reached his eyes and his ears. A face-splitting grin that was both sincere _and_ scary in Aqua’s eyes. “Chii! Chii! Chii!” Ven pulled it away from his arms and started to dance with it. The cat chanted Ven’s name in return, equally as excited. “I miss you! I miss you! I miss you!” And the two of them were lost to their own world.

Terra had a small chuckle, dumbfounded, but otherwise found the scenery cute. Ven didn’t look sixteen, he looked even _younger_ with the cat in his arms. Aqua was smiling as well, cooing at how adorable Ven looked, but there was a question that sprung into her mind and went unanswered until now:

What was it? How was it related to Ven?

She had once asked Ven about it, but Ven only brushed her off with a smile.

“C’mon Aqua, Chii is Chii. His full name is Chirithy, but he’s just… Chii, you know?”

_No, she didn’t know._ But the more Aqua tried to coax an answer out of Ven, the more Ven seemed lost and unsure. And Aqua finally stopped prodding when Ven had a smile on his lips yet a vacant stare on his eyes when he answered: _Chii is just Chii, Aqua._

It spurred her curiosity, of course, but she reasoned that she didn’t need to pry further into Ven’s lost memories if it was going to rattle him to the point of sporting a look he had long since forgotten.

(The look reminded her of the days when Ven could hear and respond to them but never saying a word of his own. Of the dreadful first days when she and Terra lived in uncertainty that Ventus could just fell without a warning and never getting up until they helped him to)

“Okay then, if you say so.” Aqua then brought the matter into a close.

And it wasn’t like Chirithy’s existence bothered her in any way. The cat was polite, intelligent, courteous, and most of all, it clearly loved Ven more than anything else in the world. It would talk to Terra and Aqua, of course, asking them how their day went or offering to help with chores—but it was just obvious that Chirithy placed Ven’s mood and attention above all else in its priority.

There was one time Aqua and Chirithy sat together as they watch Terra and Ven roughhousing each other in a friendly manner (not with keyblade, never with keyblade, Terra was still horribly terrified of accidentally hurting her or Ven in any way). Aqua had been laughing while Chirithy just watched with a careful stare. After seeing Ven laughing as he tried to kick Terra’s chin, Chirithy turned to her, earning a ‘hmm?’ from Aqua.

“Aqua, do you like Ventus?”

Ah.

“Of course I do, he’s my best friend.” Him and Terra both. Quite honestly, Aqua wouldn’t categorize what she felt for Terra and Ven as ‘like’, because it just seemed so… trivial compared to what she held for the two most important people in her life. She had survived eternity in the darkness to see Ven wake, to see Terra smile at her, to see her friends playing with each other like this, to spend another night together under the same stars…

Chirithy was still looking at her, its doll-eyes _somehow_ peering through her like it was trying to figure out her entire existence, it flicked its gaze to Ven before returning to her again. Unyielding.

“Even when you know _nothing_ about him?”

There it was again, the strange feeling she got whenever Ven called it with the name Chii; like this cat knew Ventus better than she and Terra, who had been with him ever since Ven himself can remember anything. _But he must have had a life. One before them, before Xehanort, even._

_…and Chirithy knew that life._

But Ven had told her that he’d never seen Chirithy before in his life. _I don’t know him, but I know that Chii is mine_ was what Ven said to her, his eyes distant as he stared right through Aqua for a split second that unnerved her before smiling the familiar smile again. Aqua took a deep breath and exhaled.

“I know everything I need to know to keep him safe. That’s all I need.”

Chirithy still had its eyes on Aqua, there was a slight on pout on its face before it stood up and dusted itself off.

“Let’s hope that you can hold on to your words, Aqua. I’d really hate to see Ventus losing anyone again.” But before Aqua could ask what it had meant, Chirithy had gone over to Ven’s awaiting arms and joined the boys’ horseplay.

\--

Terra remembered the days he, Aqua, and Master Eraqus used to watch Ven slept.

Sometimes they did it together, other times they’d do it alone, or Terra would watch with Aqua while they talked about their training or just wonder what happened to such a small kid that got him in a coma. Their wonderings consisted of something as ordinary as an accident to a conspiracy like how Ventus was actually a homunculus, it was always a fun discussion as they waited for their newest friend to wake.

(Nowadays, Terra wanted to smack his younger self for being so naïve. The conspiracy option could be the truth, Ven’s case was the prime example)

So he and Aqua were holed up on the floor of Ven’s room again nearly fourteen years later, with Aqua reading a book and Terra absently watching the magical globe Master Eraqus had given Ven as a gift for his thirteenth birthday. The air between them was undoubtedly lighter after Terra’s statement that he wanted to share minds with Aqua. Terra knew that he and Aqua both shared the same principle regarding Ven’s wellbeing; _they don’t compromise._ But when all is said and done, Aqua didn’t seem to want to talk, content with reading the book she had taken from the library.

If Terra were to reanalyze Aqua’s statement, he concluded that she had only consented to share her mind if it concerned Ven. He supposed that it was a bit too farfetched to hope that it would extend to everything else they had let hang in the air…

Terra took a deep breath. He had all the time in the world to talk to Aqua and Ven (even when he didn’t deserve it). He would never leave them, not again, not after the Master (his father) had asked him to look after them.

Being with Aqua and Ven used to be a given thing, something Terra had taken for granted, but after Xehanort…

Terra could remember things. Little snippets of his own pieces. He remembered being The Guardian the best, because it was the closest thing he had to a will of his own, made from his desperation to return to his friends’ side to fix everything. He also remembered Ansem’s single-mindedness to unleash darkness upon all worlds; it was harsh, simple, and straightforward—the piece of him Terra preferred not to associate himself with often. Ansem was more Xehanort than he was, anyway. Then he also remembered Xemnas.

If Ansem was more Xehanort, then Xemnas was more of _him_. During the nights he spent under the stars, away from Aqua’s lingering gaze or Ven’s bright stare, he pondered about Xemnas often. The Nobody had remembered Aqua, had consciously sought her out, had talked to her armor and Rainfell as if they were old friends. Xehanort may have wanted to locate Ven because he wanted to forge a X-blade, but Terra sometimes wondered if Xemnas wanted Ven for something else altogether.

“What’s in your mind, Terra?”

Aqua’s gaze was on him, calm yet careful. The book she held in front of her nose hid the rest of her face except for her blue gaze and it made Terra’s heart squeeze. _Aqua being Aqua_ , he sighed. If he wanted things to change, then… maybe he should be the one to change it? After all, Aqua did stay with him on the nights he said nothing. Maybe… just maybe…

“I was thinking about Xemnas, Master Xehanort’s—no, _my_ Nobody.” Terra braved himself to look into Aqua’s eyes. She deserved this. _She deserved her friend back._ Terra had endured all those years in the darkness for _this_ —for a chance to be with Aqua and Ven again—and he would face all his fears and guilt and regret and doubt a thousand times if it can give Aqua and Ven the friend they deserve. Maybe he could… share himself. Like how he wanted them to share themselves to him.

Aqua didn’t look away from him, and he took it as a signal for him to continue.

“He… kept your armor and keyblade in the Chamber of Repose. He talked to it often and it was the closest thing he had to a friend.” He didn’t really know what he wanted to say, or if Aqua will understand why he talked about it. It just… felt right to get things off his chest.

Aqua put down the book she had been reading to the side and went to sit next to him, leaning slightly to his shoulder without looking at him like she oft to do whenever she had something important to say but was still unsure of it. She was warm, like she’d always been and hopefully will always be.

“Maybe it was your body yearning for a friend,” Aqua said softly. “Maybe it was a part of you, trying to reach out to the memories that are close to your heart…”

Terra was content to believe that. Maybe Xemnas had been a part of him who remembered that he had lost something. Maybe he had remembered Aqua’s river-like calmness that often quelled Terra’s turmoil. Maybe he also remembered Ven’s bright presence that always made Terra feel like he would never be alone as long as the winds that carried his friend’s name are with him. Maybe Xemnas had unconsciously desired that. Just… maybe.

“Chii… do you want to wake up with me… or do you want to stay with Vanitas…?”

Aqua jerked up immediately, but Terra was close behind. They both immediately stand up from their previous seats and went over to Ven’s bed right after. Their smallest friend was sleep-talking.

And apparently, he was talking to his cat?

Now that Terra thought of it, where was Chirithy? The cat would normally follow Ven wherever he went, sometimes tottering behind or casually riding on Ven’s head or shoulder, but Terra hadn’t seen him for the entire day. But… why would Ven talk to his cat in his dreams? Was he dreaming about his cat?

“Ven…?” Aqua called, her voice soft and barely audible, as a smile formed on Ven’s lips.

“Okay… I’ll see you later then, Chii…”

Terra watched as Ven slowly opened his eyes, blinking remnants of his long sleep away as he groaned and stretched his limbs. Aqua’s hands were trembling, but she looked… touched? Nostalgic? Terra wasn’t sure. But he placed his hand on her shoulder as he smiled to Ven, who was _finally_ looking at them with a familiar expression on his face.

“Uhhhh, am I in trouble?”

Terra laughed. Okay. This was definitely Ven. There was _no way_ Vanitas could look like a deer caught in headlights, after all.

“You’re not really in trouble, Ven,” Terra said, laughter still evident in his voice. _Ven being Ven_ , he thought briefly. “You just have a lot of explaining to do, that’s all.”

Aqua fixed Ven a long stare as he shrugged in defeat.

\--

_“You should have gone with Ventus.”_

_“I think you need me more than Ven does right now…”_

_Chirithy sat next to him, his eyes went over the wall of memories that weren’t there before. Vanitas watched, all of them, none of them, it felt…_

_“It didn’t make you feel anything?” Chirithy said._

_“No.” Vanitas bit in return._

_Could it be… that he really was just an empty creature? This was a time from Before, so these memories should felt like his too, right? But… why? Why doesn’t it feel like anything?_

_“I have my own theory,” Chirithy said as he watched a memory of Ventus avoiding Myde’s incessant chattering. “And it’s really weird, because… you remind me of Ventus I know more than Ven does…” It was said more as a personal wondering more than a conversation, so Vanitas didn’t say anything. But still… it piqued his curiosity._

_“What was he like?”_

_Chirithy didn’t need elaboration, something that Vanitas found that he appreciated more and more. Even Ventus, his literal other half, sometimes didn’t get what he meant to say the first time. And it felt like they had done this a thousand times before. Like… all he had was his Chirithy in a world that felt too wrong._

_“Ventus is… well, like I said, a very lonely person.” Chirithy exhaled softly as he watched a memory of Ventus Halzen sitting alone in his room, watching the sunset by his windowsill. “There are a lot of things that made him that way. His family circumstances, his own doubt and fears and… how he always felt like he will never measure up. He is extremely talented, but… he always had a weird perception of how a Halzen should be.” Chirithy sighed, but he looked strangely happy. Like he finally managed something he had held on for so long._

_“Heh, can never imagine Ventus being a lonely person.” Vanitas would know. After all, he’d seen how Ventus was with practically everyone he met. Even back when he was mere fragments of himself, Ventus forged strong bonds with Terra and Aqua. Then there was Lea and Isa, Experiment 626, the dwarfs from the Woodlands, Snow White, Cinderella, the fairies—Ventus was effortlessly friendly. Loneliness was not a trait that he’d_ ever _associate with Ventus. If anyone, Vanitas would have said that…_

_Ah._

_“Sometimes when I see Ven, I would feel really happy that he doesn’t remember being a Halzen,” Chirithy said, his eyes boring into Vanitas’ own with thousands of unspoken words. “Ven doesn’t remember_ anything _, that’s why all memories felt too much to him. That’s why it felt weird to him when he saw himself being angry or cold or authoritative. But you…” Chirithy cast its gaze downwards, not meeting Vanitas’ eyes. “What if when… that_ Master _of yours split you into two, he didn’t just split your heart? What if he also messed with the memories sealed within you? What if… the reason why it didn’t feel like anything to you is because_ you _are the Ventus who experienced all of it?”_

_“What… what the hell are you saying?! Wouldn’t I know if I was the one who went through all of that?! And what do you mean by sealed memories?!”_

_“Please calm down, Ventus. I mean, my guess is as good as yours, for the most part.” Chirithy had his ears folded and Vanitas could see_ tears _pooling there. He took a deep breath and exhaled before turning away. He’d done this too often. He hurt people who got too close. No wonder the only friend he ever had was his own Chirithy and—huh?_

_“I do this often, don’t I?” Vanitas said, breaking the silence between the two of them. “I hurt you, a lot.”_

_Chirithy shook his head as he stood up and went closer to Vanitas. “We talk a lot; you and I. Even from Before, you would always talk to me more than Ven would.” He had his tiny paw on Vanitas’ arm, shaking and afraid, but he didn’t pry further. “You’ve never ever hurt me, Ventus. If anything, you are the only reason why Ven didn’t break when…” Chirithy trailed into silence, his expression was odd, like he felt that he shouldn’t have said that._

_“When Ven what, Chirithy?”_

_“I… uh- Ventus, it will come in time. I promise you! That’s the only reason why I can be here, after all…”_

_Vanitas wasn’t going to have it. He turned to Chirithy and gripped its arm hard, forcing their eyes to meet. He wasn’t going to back down. He wanted to know, so he_ will _know. Vanitas was tired of having to wait until people tell him anything. Back then it was the Master, then it was the Master’s Nobody, and now Chirithy? No._

_Hell no._

_“Chirithy.”_

_“Please,” there were tears and it_ hurt _, but Vanitas held his ground. “She… she traded her heart’s existence for a chance to tell you the truth, Ventus. But… there are limitations to what I can do, so… please…” Chirithy put his head on top of Vanitas’ hand, sobbing. “I promise, you’ll remember **everything**.”_

_And then he disappeared, leaving Vanitas alone with the unfamiliarly familiar memories circling around him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon is that Chirithy is able to return to the Realm of Light because somebody paid a price for him to cross over. In the next chapter, we'll see Ven trying his best to explain the situation to Terra and Aqua while Vanitas forced a trip down the memory lane. Stay tuned!!


	6. Blurry Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanitas forces himself to remember how it all began while Ventus tries to explain everything to Terra and Aqua... if only it were that easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hype I have while writing this chapter is insane. I usually try to stick to 3k words/chapter but for this one I just can't help myself. Please enjoy!!

_Vanitas was alone._

_Chirithy had disappeared somewhere, maybe to the real world or maybe to a memory or Kingdom Hearts knew where. It felt too familiar, Chirithy walking out from him like that. Only with Vanitas, he didn’t need to second guess why Chirithy left. He was too scathing, too dark, and Chirithy was a being of light._

_With nothing else to do, Vanitas turned towards the wall of memories that weren’t there before. He watched Ventus Halzen as he talked to Myde Ilma, he watched as Ventus Halzen sat by the swings in front of his house, he watched as Ventus Halzen walked for hours on end around the town, and Vanitas realized one thing: Ventus Halzen did not have any friends._

_Most of the memories he’d seen were of Ventus Halzen being alone, but it didn’t feel like anything. It was as if he was resigned to the fact that he was alone._

_But there was a memory that screamed something to Vanitas the moment he laid eyes on it. It was of Ventus Halzen, sitting alone on top of a clock tower. It was… different from the other memories that Vanitas saw, this one felt like_ something _and it was really odd._

_So Vanitas stretched out his hand, trying to touch the memory, and it engulfed him in bizarre light that was similar to the one that had taken Ventus previously…_

_It felt really warm._

\--

The first thing Vanitas realized was the fact that it felt weird.

He was there and yet he was not; like he was trapped in a headspace that was not his own but did not actively reject him. He was the one sitting, but at the same time not. It felt like watching an event in a first-person view, and it was weird.

Ventus Halzen had been crying, apparent from the sticky track of tears on his face and the fluttering sadness and anger that felt like a second nature to Vanitas. Sad and angry were the two emotions Vanitas knew better than anyone, after all, so he wasn’t particularly weirded out by it, if anything it felt _right_. Because even if he was sad, there wasn’t any Unversed pouring out of him and leaving him with a hollowness that downright angered him. Vanitas was both sad and angry, so he felt sad and angry and that was it.

And he didn’t pass out like he would if he was echoing Ventus’ emotion, either. Because it felt like his own emotion though it didn’t pour out and create Unversed. Vanitas felt... _normal._

He started to realize his surroundings, careful not to be too carried away by Ventus Halzen’s emotions. He was shorter than what he used to, does that mean that he was younger than what he was used to? And he was hugging something, too. Something metallic and probably a bit too big because it went past his shoulder. He was…

“Oh, I didn’t realize that someone would be in my spot already.” Ventus turned to the source of the sound, hurriedly wiping the tears off his face because _how shameful would it be if a Halzen is seen crying in public?_ But the man didn’t seem to care that he was crying. He kept walking until he was only a few steps away from Ventus and sat down there.

He… was dressed like Lady Ava, but he had a leopard mask instead of a fox. His color was yellow and blue instead of pink and silver. There was a flutter of cautiousness and surprise coming from Ventus Halzen, so Vanitas assumed that he must have known this man.

“T-to what…” Ventus took a deep breath, trying to hold the shaking in his voice. He didn’t want this man to know that he had been crying. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Lord Gula…?” Vanitas really had to do a double-take at his own voice. Ventus Halzen sounded so horribly childlike; like he hadn’t had puberty yet. His voice didn’t sound like Ventus and definitely didn’t sound like Vanitas. He was… _just a kid…_

“Nothing, really. I’m just here to enjoy the sunset, like how I always do.” The man replied nonchalantly. “If anything, I should be asking you why you are here; isn’t your induction ball already underway? Ira had to leave the Foretellers’ meeting early to get to Halzen Manor, after all.”

Vanitas could feel the coldness and fear that came with that statement. Ventus went pale almost immediately, his hands shaking as he hugged himself tightly and put his forehead on the blade in his arms. _Scared. I’ll disappoint everyone. I’m not worthy…_

But the stranger then looked at him without any sort of malice or expectation that Ventus had to stare back. Ventus knew that Lord Gula was famous for his nonchalance, as people had told him that Lord Gula didn’t show any emotion when the last members of Eira Clan died in the hands of Darklings, but he wasn’t… as cold as everyone said he was.

Or at least that was how Ventus felt.

“Starlight, huh? Such a powerful key to be summoned when you are only six years of age. You are destined for great things, Ventus Halzen.”

Ventus immediately hugged the blade in his arms even tighter before it disappeared entirely in a rain of light. He was shaking hard, but Lord Gula didn’t say anything. Ventus took a deep breath and stood up. Vanitas had to note how… small he was, to the point that he was only just as tall as the other man who was sitting. This was… him- _them_ ; this was how _they_ looked like when they were only six years old.

He had grown up as humans had...

“Why… are you talking to me, Lord Gula?”

“Everything we are, everything that is to happen… has all been noted by the Master…” Lord Gula said as he watched the sun falling into the darkness. “Perhaps this is also one of those things. You are prophesized, Ventus, and I am the Foreteller who is destined to find you.” Vanitas didn’t get anything he just said, so he reached out to Ventus’ thoughts, but the other also drew a blank.

“Do you want me to train you? I can show you a way so that keyblade won’t be too long or too big for you. Starlight chose you, so of course, you can wield it.”

_Ventus is only six! He can’t wield a keyblade!_

_It’s simply too dangerous to allow you to wield a keyblade right now, Ventus. Let’s hold the induction ball as soon as possible so we can ask Master Ira and everyone else to protect you, at least until Starlight fits right in your hands._

“But… I’m a Halzen….”

“Nobody said that members of Halzen Clan _have_ to be a member of Unicornis though,” Lord Gula said as he turned his gaze from the dying sun to Ventus’ own blue. “They just… chose to. But you don’t seem like you want to be part of Ira’s Union, am I wrong?”

He wasn’t _wrong_. Ventus didn’t really want to be part of the Unicornis. He wasn’t a worthy enough Halzen to do that. He was weak, he always fell short, he’s afraid to even _look_ at Master Ira who was the leader of all the other Masters. And the keyblade? He was sure that it was just a coincidence instead of his heart being powerful or something…

“Tell you what, I’ll just train you. I’m not inviting you to join my Union,” Lord Gula stood up and summoned his keyblade. It was gold and blue, it looked and felt dangerous but it suited Lord Gula just fine. “When your mind’s made up, I’ll ask you again. Whether you want to join your family in the Unicornis... or be part of my Leopardus, or even if you want to be in other Unions, I won’t hold it against you. What do you say?”

Ventus looked at the Master of Leopardus Union with an incredulous look. He… never belonged. He was not smart, not good at magic, he doesn’t amount to anything. All his life Ventus Halzen never really had a choice outside of what was already prepared for him, but here this man was, convincing him that maybe there _was_ a life outside of being a Halzen.

So Ventus looked up to him, his head held as high as he could, and nodded.

“Please, Lord… _Master_ Gula, teach me the ways of the keyblade!”

Master Gula kneeled in front of him to get on his eye-level and handed Ventus the grip of his keyblade. “In your hand, take this Key. So long as you have the makings, then through this simple act of taking, its Master you shall one day be. Starlight has chosen its destined wielder and I, Master Gula, swears to guide you onto the path of destiny. In the events that I cannot guide you, may the Spirit of Chirithy guides you, so you will not stray.”

There was a loud sound of ‘poof’ in the air and a Chirithy appeared. Ventus was startled as the creature landed on his head, greeting him with a laugh.

“Now, you are officially a keyblade wielder,” Master Gula’s keyblade disappeared in a rain of light as he stood up. “Come find me in the Eira Manor tomorrow, I shall teach you the ways of handling a keyblade.” And then he left.

Ventus was left alone in the clock tower; even when the tear tracks on his face have not cleared, he had a Chirithy in his arms and a choice he never thought he had before in his life.

Vanitas smiled.

 --

The lounge just across Master Eraqus’ study was probably Ven’s favorite place in the entire castle.

It was simple, quaint, and homey. Starting from the discarded blanket just by the sofa to the cluttered stacks of books a few meters away from the fireplace, the lounge screamed of people who lived there. It screamed of Aqua’s love of books, Terra’s love of miniature models, and Ven’s own general untidiness. There was a reason why Aqua never scolded him for the sheer fact that his room was never tidy, after all.

(Master Eraqus once said that Ventus, just like his namesake, is the personification of the term orderly chaos. _You don’t try to order the wind, Aqua, you let it take you where it wants._ Ven had hidden behind the Master’s back as he laughed and ruffled Aqua’s hair when he said that. Ah, Ven missed those days, really.)

And here there were, sitting in the room where they have talked about nothing and everything all at once. The lounge was fairly large, with bookshelves lining the entirety of the room’s walls. It could have easily passed as a library if not for the contents of said books. The library held materials that have been passed on between generations of keyblade wielders, of tomes that Aqua could not read, and books the Master showed none of them because they weren’t ready. The books in the lounge were geared towards their enjoyment, starting from fiction works of literature to comic books from other worlds.

Other than the bookshelves, there was a simple set of a sofa, a loveseat, and an armchair surrounding a modest oval-shaped wooden table. And across that set is a grandiose fireplace which flame was enchanted to last all year long until they’d replenish it on the winter solstice. Ven had celebrated the winter solstice in the Land of Departure four times (though he only remembered three of them clearly, the first one was still a fuzzy blur) and he always felt warm each time.

Right now, though, Aqua was sitting on the love seat directly across Terra, who was occupying the armchair. Both of them surrounded Ven who was sitting awkwardly on the sofa.

The tea they had brought from the kitchen had gone cold from inattention, all of them too busy gauging the others’ reaction to start a conversation. But it was clear what they wanted: an explanation. Ven took a deep breath before exhaling softly, tucking his knees underneath his chin and tilting his head, sighing once more to make a point.

“Uhhh what if you guys start by asking questions and I’ll answer them? I really don’t know where to start…” There were _loads_ of things to be explained. Like his real name. Or the fact that he had lived at the age of fairytales. Or the fact that he had a Master even _before_ Xehanort. Or the fact that he had a servant apparently? And a best friend too? He really didn’t know where to start.

“Well, why don’t we start with explaining about Vanitas?” Aqua began, her eyes sharp and tone worried. Ven was actually surprised that out of everything he had to tell, what his friends wanted to hear about was Vanitas, and it caught him off-guard.

But… he supposed that it was fair because, from Aqua’s stories, she had been the one to confront Vanitas before Ven did in the Keyblade Graveyard. She had been the one to see Vanitas taking control of their—Ven’s body and fought him with Mickey. Vanitas had called her a backup, she was to forge the X-blade if Ven hadn’t risen to the occasion. So yes, he supposed that it was fair.

Meanwhile, Terra’s gaze was gentler than Aqua’s. It was curious but coaxing instead of piercing, so Ven smiled at Terra to assure himself before taking a deep breath to answer.

“Well… uh… I met him in my heart,” none of them spoke, even though their eyes widen, a simple act to urge Ven to continue. “He’s just… sitting there, watching my memories. I was about to fight him, but he’s…” _resigned. Didn’t feel like he wanted to fight me. We cried together._ There were many things to say, none of them even believable for Ven himself if he hadn’t been the one going through them.

Vanitas, crying? He didn’t even cry when he’s fading away from existence!

Vanitas, passing out because he felt too overwhelmed? Oh, come on!

“He’s what, Ven?” Terra asked, his voice kind, and Ven knew that it was more for Ven’s benefit instead of his own. Usually, it would be Aqua who would coax things out of him, because Aqua has always been able to understand him even when he couldn’t talk right. But instead, she had her steely gaze, one she usually would sport when she was deep in thought or was apprehensive about something but unwilling to say things outright.

Ven took a deep breath once more.

“He… didn’t really want to fight me. If anything, he’s…”

Another breath.

“I can’t really explain it, but it just… felt right. For once. Between me and him. Like we’re meant to be together at last.”

If Vanitas was paying attention to this conversation, he would have called Ven a sap. But after the long talks, the long silences, the shared memories, and shared glances, it felt right. Vanitas wasn’t a stranger. He was his own person, Ven really believed that with all his heart, but somehow they still fit together.

But how can he explain that to his friends?

“He…” Aqua was the one who broke the silence, earning both Terra and Ven’s attention at once. She took a deep breath and clenched her fists on the loveseat. “He was a part of you, wasn’t he?” She was treading very carefully like she was still trying to find a balance between her own apprehension and her need to know. Ven nodded, smiling a small smile.

“Every time I go to sleep, I met him in my heart. Time didn’t really have meaning there. Sometimes it’s short, sometimes it’s long. So we talk a lot, scream at each other a lot too,” Ven chuckled to himself, finding his early interactions somewhat nostalgic, like it had been a part of his life instead of a new occurrence brought by their unlikely meeting. “But it’s kind of hard to stay mad at him or hate him when everything he felt echoes back to me immediately after he felt them. I don’t think he hates me anymore…”

Or was it that Vanitas never really hated him at all? It was all a misunderstanding caused by their unwillingness to listen to what the two of them had to say…?

Taking a deep breath, Ven tried to look and _really_ look at his friends. This was a revelation to him, and he was the one who saw Vanitas doing all those things he never imagined, how would his friends take it?

Terra had a neutral expression on his face, but it was attentive, as if he wanted nothing more than listen to what Ven had to say. Ven was grateful for Terra, really. He was always so unshakeable, so firm and steady, definitely the person he wanted to have when everything was as unsteady as it was right now. And Ven caught the acceptance in his features. He didn’t seem apprehensive with the fact that Ven was talking about Vanitas like he was something other than an enemy.

But that was the sheer truth, right? Vanitas was not an enemy.

Aqua, however, looked downright confused. She was still looking at Ven, her brows creased in worry and doubt and many others. Aqua was always Ven’s picture-perfect of calmness, of control, of what a _Master_ should be. But here she was with a thousand emotions flashing on her face, all because of one clear thing: she did not trust Vanitas.

So Ven scooted over to the edge of the sofa, nearer to the loveseat, just until Aqua was near enough for him to reach. Her eyes were on him, so he showed her a smile as he reached forward with his hand. Aqua welcomed him in earnest, her hand taking in his and she gripped _hard_. Aqua, smart and amazing and understanding— _Master Aqua_ was unsure, so here she was taking Ven’s determination and trying to make it her own and Ven _understood_.

“Aqua… I remember perfectly what Vanitas did to us…” Ven remembered watching those memories, of Vanitas goading and lying to him, of Vanitas striking Aqua mercilessly, of Vanitas nearly killing Aqua many times before Aqua pulled through with her own strength. He had watched them all while Vanitas slept next to him after one of their many screaming matches. All the while he watched, Ven felt a strange rush of desperation, Vanitas’ thoughts floating through his own like a mantra.

_Just a little more… just a little more… it will stop. All so we can reunite… everything will stop once we reunite…_

Vanitas was not a good person, but he was desperate for an empty promise given by the man who had hurt them, the person who was the _only_ person in Vanitas’ life. Being reunited with Vanitas just made Ventus resent Xehanort more than he already did for tearing his family apart…

But Aqua didn’t know how it felt. Aqua didn’t understand what Vanitas felt, didn’t feel what _he_ felt, so Ven would assure her. No matter what it takes…

“Just… be careful, Ven.” Aqua’s words screamed of both worry and promise. She still didn’t trust Vanitas, but she trusted Ven with all her heart. She _promised_ that she was going to protect him, even when _he_ was not being careful. It unnerved Ven sometimes, how Aqua seemed like she was going to take the world and hand it to him on a silver platter if she could, but Ven managed.

Aqua loved him, she was too afraid to lose him (and who could blame her? Ven’s inability to end Vanitas had cost her ten years of his life, after all) and this was how she loved and Ven needed to accept it because he loved Aqua all the same.

He’ll convince her that he wasn’t the kid (weakling) that she thought he was, all in due time.

“You don’t need to trust him, but please, trust me…”

That was all he could manage for now. Ven will work through it, he had all the time in the world to do just that.

Aqua took a deep breath and tried smiling at him, rising from her seat and joined him on the sofa. She sighed and ruffled his hair with a tentative laugh. Ven welcomed the gesture instead of deflecting like he usually would. It was about Aqua, not about him.

“I’ll try, I’ll try.” Aqua exhaled. “But I still want to know why you fell asleep _you_ and woke up as him.” The tone was light, a genuine question that was laced with worry and faraway doubt.

“Yeah, Ven,” Terra said from his seat on the armchair, his expression kind and fond as he watched Aqua and Ven sitting so closely next to each other. “It scared us, me especially, when I see _you_ making your way into the kitchen and make yourself the Master’s coffee, you know?” The three of them laughed.

And it was warm, it felt like home, and Ven was…

_Lonely._

Ven jerked at the feeling, surprising both Aqua and Terra as he flinched at the familiarly unfamiliar feel of feeling somebody else’s feelings. It felt like he was in his- their- _Ventus Halzen’s_ memories. It wasn’t Vanitas, Ven knew, because if it was him it would have felt more intense. But this was…

“Ven, what’s wrong?” Aqua trod carefully as she put her hand on Ven’s shoulder, grounding him back to reality. Her touches were casual, warm, it was Aqua through and through. His _friend_.

Ven’s silence prompted Terra to move from his seat and onto the sofa, effectively putting him in the middle of his friends. Ven _really_ wanted to answer, but it was hard to do so when he kept getting flashes of memories overlaying his friends’ figure. He reached for Aqua’s hand on his shoulder, trying to ground himself to reality. His breaths were short, but he tried to breathe normally. The room’s overlay began to change to something familiar yet not. _He’d seen it before._ It overlay with the living room of the Halzen Villa he had seen in Ventus Halzen’s memories.

“Ven, please, you’re scaring me.”

“Ven!”

A shake on his shoulder. He could hear Aqua and Terra, but at the same time, he was alone. The fireplace in front of him had been roaring brightly, but it no longer did. It was cold, he was alone on the sofa, two people sitting across him while they watched him with careful eyes.

_“Ventus, please?”_

_“Ventus…”_

He looked up, trying to see the faces of the people in front of him. But everything _blurred_ and the fireplace roared once more. It was horribly disorienting, but he could feel the firm grasp of Terra’s big hand on his shoulder and Aqua’s trembling hand on the other shoulder. No. No. He had to _come back_. Stop. Stop. Stop!!!

“Ven… please, come back to us!”

That was Aqua. It was her voice. Ven slowly turned to her, trying to place her face to her voice, but then what he saw _shocked_ him to his core.

Aqua was blonde...?

So he turned to Terra, trying to place _him_ onto focus….

But Terra was blond as well.

“What…?” Ven was shaking, all of him, starting from his voice to his entire body. Oh Kingdom Hearts, what in the world is happening to him?!

Then there was a voice that cut through everyone else’s, slowly… slowly bringing him back to focus. It whispered a lot of things and Ven tried to focus on that voice and that voice alone. Slowly it turned into something much more tangible; curses, insults, and Ven had to smile at that.

_Screw you, Ventus, seriously._

_You moronic asshole._

_Come back, don’t screw this up._

_For once in your damn pathetic life, get a grip!_

“Vanitas…” It was a sigh as much as it was a chuckle. It did the job. He was back. He was in his favorite lounge with favorite people in the world. Chii was on his lap, looking up to him with a worried stare. Ven took a deep breath and exhaled before allowing Chii to kiss his cheek with a simple act of turning his face. Aqua and Terra slowly withdrew, standing in front of him instead of sitting next to him.

There weren’t any words, only worried stares and shared glances between the two of them. Ven circled his arms around Chii’s entire figure and hugged him close as he looked up to the blue-haired Aqua and brown-haired Terra. He was back to normal. It was okay.

“Ven…?” Aqua called, cautious and worried. Terra didn’t say anything, but Ven could tell that he was just as worried as Aqua. He traced a circle around Chii’s back, trying to find a semblance of calm. When he finally found it, he faced Aqua and Terra with a resigned smile.

“Sorry,” Ven said as he let Chii turned around so his back would be on Ven’s chest. “But what just happened had a connection to your question, really.” He… didn’t know how to phrase it better. Ven was never eloquent with words, after all. But he faced his friends and tried his best. That was all he could really do.

“You guys know that I don’t really remember anything before I met you guys, right?” There was a unanimous nod from both Terra and Aqua, so Ven took it as a sign to continue. “Well, it’s coming back to me. The memories, I mean. Turns out that I have a full name and Xehanort’s not my only Master and I lived in the age of fairy tales.” Ven laughed.

Aqua and Terra were both staring at him like he was insane, but Ven didn’t really know what to say. Because, well, how was anyone ever going to react to that?

“Please don’t worry, Aqua, Terra!” Chii chirped excitedly as he leaped away from Ven’s lap and onto Terra’s shoulder. “Ven is just Ven, right?” He turned to Ven, who then smiled. Yeah. It was okay. He was him and nobody else.

“I can’t remember everything clearly yet, but I promise I’ll tell you everything when I do.” Ven grinned up to the both of them, who then showed him a relieved expression. Ven opened his arms and threw himself to hug his two most important friends, who both laughed before hugging him back.

“Remember that you can tell us everything, okay?” Aqua chided, comforting as she usually would.

“Yeah, Ven, let’s share what’s in our minds. The three of us.” Terra added, his voice heavy with both concern and determination.

It was only later, when Ventus had remembered everything, that he regretted ever making a promise he cannot keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please share your thoughts with me! Or if you are shy here, hit me up on [tumblr.](http://ichikonohakko.tumblr.com/)


	7. Interlude - Myde Ilma (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myde Ilma's life began when he lost his Clan and gained a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a horrible week with getting sick, juggling work, and being a functional young adult in general so I didn't write anything. Managed to set myself right again with writing a whole chapter away from the general POV. It's refreshing tbh.
> 
> So please enjoy my original take on Demyx and the entire Union Cross gameplay!

Myde Ilma fancied himself as a man of pace.

He was fluid as a calm river, always flowing lazily through the motions of his life. Simplistic, easy, never really involved in anything. He loved playing his guitar underneath a tree while singing about the nature, he loved taking walks around town with no particular aim, he loved stargazing well into the night; Myde Ilma lived a very boring and calm life.

That was until he became a keyblade wielder.

The entire Ilma Clan had been shocked since Myde never showed any sign of bearing a strong heart. If anything, his family had probably given up on him when he didn’t show any signs of summoning a keyblade at twelve years old and Myde never really cared about light or darkness or the impending end of the world his family had been actively trying to prevent, so it suited him just well. But on his thirteenth birthday, everything changed.

He was sitting on the fountain, tuning his guitar and warming up his voice for an impromptu performance. He held his hand up high in a wave, hoping to get everyone’s attention for his opening act, and when people did gather, it was for something else.

People gathered because Myde had a keyblade in his hand.

To say that he was shocked would be an understatement. Myde had dropped his guitar and threw the keyblade away in sheer surprise. It disappeared in a rain of light, but his guitar had broken into pieces when it hit the ground.

He had been horribly devastated when it happened; insanely pissed and annoyed that the guitar he had worked so hard to make got broken in the most unassuming way. Nobody cared that Myde was pissed, though, because his family had been _excited_ and had thrown him a ball in the honor of their newest keyblade wielder (as per a tradition Myde didn’t really know existing). Generations of wielders hailing from Ilma Clan has always been part of the Anguis Union, so of course, Foreteller Invi and the rest of Anguis had been invited. The ball was grand, probably the biggest celebration in Daybreak town for years, but Myde didn’t care about it at all.

When the party was over, his parents had invited Foreteller Invi to personally induct Myde into Anguis Union. To this day, he could still remember the look on his parents’ face when he stood in front of Lady Invi and shook his head with a grin on his face.

“I’m not joining the Anguis Union, Lady Invi.” Myde had said with a smile, earning a look of surprise from Lady Invi and absolute shame from his parents. “I’m going to join Leopardus Union. Master Gula seems more like my style, you know?”

The moments after that were passed by in a blur. Lady Invi had put a hand on his shoulder and wished him all the best before leaving. His parents screamed and everyone else had watched Myde leave the room with a cackle.

Then came the homelessness.

Myde packed very little of his personal belongings, none of them really spoke to him and he really didn’t care about them. He only had his guitar, the clothes on his back, and the little jewels he had from his performances. It felt scary to leave the home he never really thought as his home, but Myde did so with springs in his steps.

He’d go wherever the winds took him, and that was all he needed.

 

\--

 

“So that was it, you know?”

“You… are a very interesting person, Myde Ilma.”

Master Gula was a young man compared to Lady Invi. Myde always thought that he and Lady Ava were probably the youngest out of all the Foretellers and thus got closer because of that. Leopardus had always been a tight-knit bunch who were somehow also on their own, unlike Anguis (who were all famous for their sense of detachment, even to each other) or Unicornis (who were all famous for being leaders of their own right) or Ursus (famous for being the intimidating bunch), and it was more of Myde’s style. To have a home yet to be free to go, really, he could have joined the Vulpeus since they were much more famous for being a free-willed people, but leopards were just cooler than foxes, ha!

(And besides, the Vulpeus never really acted like they were a cohesive unit. Everyone was just too scattered. Myde didn’t really like that in a Union, so he would steer clear of them)

“Oh come on Master Gula,” Myde started his spiel once more, hoping to have at least a place to stay tonight. It was getting colder in Daybreak and he really didn’t want to sleep outside anymore. “I’ll even work hard and gather more Lux than anyone else in the Union! Just let me stay in your base or something!” And that was the best he could manage. What else could he throw in to make the deal more interesting?

But Master Gula was already snorting because Myde had thoroughly amused him to no end, and he’d like to take it as a good sign.

“Very well then, you can stay in our base. I’ll hold on to your words about the Lux, though. We have scoreboards here, see? If you can stay there, I won’t charge you any rent. It’s five thousand jewels per week if you fall off the board.” Master Gula, Myde noticed, always had a tone of deadpan in his voice and somehow it made everything very serious. He didn’t know if the other was kidding or not, but Master Gula had already disappeared somewhere and left Myde alone.

It had been a few weeks already since Myde left the Ilma Manor and life was just peachy. He really had to curse his decision to join Leopardus that time, because if he had said that he wanted to join Vulpeus, Myde would have gone to Gyllen Clan and know that they’ll introduce him to Lady Ava right away. But he really didn’t know where to find the Leopardus Union, since the Eira Clan had died out a few years earlier, and they really weren’t known to be a distinct Union.

But it really had to be Leopardus, because out of all keyblade wielders who had watched his impromptu shows, he remembered how the people of Leopardus would always come together. He’d get occasional leaders of Unicornis, or an Anguis passing by, or an Ursus who was walking down the street and stopped to hear him, and some random Vulpeus who would even _dance_ to his music, but the wielders of Leopardus would come in groups of three to five people who were probably in the same party when they gathered Lux and Myde came to a simple conclusion: wielders of Leopardus _hung out_ with each other on a daily basis.

And he wanted that.

He had come from the Ilma Clan and thus the Anguis Union was all he ever knew in life. They were always detached people who were all overseer of life, existing outside of everything and never moving with the tide. Myde wanted to live along the flow instead of outside of it and he had seen the wielders of Leopardus doing just that.

So it had to be Leopardus Union.

Myde looked up to the scoreboard which changed between boards every few minutes. They had the daily ranking, party-ranking, and the all-time ranking. And that was when he realized one vital thing he hadn't ask of his apparent landlord: which of the board he has to get into.

“Let’s see…”

The daily-ranking was not all that impressive, it didn’t reach hundred-thousand, so he supposed that it was doable still. The party-ranking has a bunch of party leader names along with the party count, it also didn’t reach hundred-thousands, but what caught Myde’s attention was the all-time ranking.

There was a single name whose count is way higher than everyone else, it had reached hundred-thousands, and yet the weirdest thing is that his name wasn’t in the daily-ranking nor was he a party-leader. The gap between the first and the second was considerably far that Myde had to wonder: just who was this ‘Ven’ person?

When the board phased into another board, Myde groaned. “Hey wait I still wanna see the daily one!”

But the board didn’t listen to him. Myde took a deep breath and sighed it all out, scratching the back of his head in a sheepish motion.

“Well, guess I’d better find a party to jumpstart my count.”

\--

“Hey! You’re the guitar guy by the fountain!”

“Whoaaa, you’re a wielder?! You never seem to stop having shows around town, so I thought it was your all-time commitment or something.”

“How come we never see you anymore?”

“Guys! Let’s ask for his name first. I’m Kyle. This is Ray, Lulu, and Trey; we’re the Early-Birds party; you are?”

Myde really couldn’t believe his eyes. These are the people who always came together to his shows, sometimes bringing others with them and other times not. These are the people who gathered the most Lux for Leopardus Union. But they were just… _children_. They wear bright and colorful clothes and their Chirithies were also dressed weirdly, but they _work_. All of them were sitting around the sofa underneath the board, lounging and talking to each other and Myde like they’ve known each other for a long time instead of avoiding him until he introduced himself. Even when he came from Ilma Clan, nobody in Anguis would introduce themselves first to him, always waiting for him to initiate a conversation…

Myde really felt guilty that he approached them because he wanted to leech off them and earn easy rent.

“My name’s Myde Ilma,” he started with a grin.

“Ooooh Ilma! Aren’t they the Clan of Anguis or something?” Ray said as she put her head on Lulu’s shoulder. “Not really up to date with the entire Clan stuff since our own is gone. There’s Ilma for Anguis, Gyllen for Vulpeus, Medve for Ursus, and—“

“Our Eira and Halzen for Unicornis!” Lulu grinned at Ray and they both snickered. Trey joined their snickers while Kyle rubbed his temple. “Anyhow, is that the same Ilma or just a freak coincidence?” Trey continued, earning the girls’ chorus of questions.

“The very same. They broke my guitar so I moved out of the house!” Myde laughed. “And besides, the Anguis isn’t really my style. I’m much rather a carefree Union, y’know?” For some reason, all of their eyes went to Trey, who sighed.

“Yeah, tell me about it. I was an Anguis, you know? Thought the snakes are cool. But no one is friends with each other? I mean we talk and all but we don’t hang out? I don’t know.”

“You… changed your Union just like that?” Myde’s eyes doubled its previous size. Obviously, he didn’t believe that such an option existed. Unions are for life! His family had said so…

“I did? It was a simple procedure really. I talked to Master- uh- Lady Invi I wanted to change Union and she was okay with it. Then I found Master Gula and asked him to be part of Leopardus. Pretty simple, right?”

“He’s still struggling not to gawk at Lady Invi whenever he saw her. She didn’t even spare him a glance.” Ray hummed, earning a laugh from both Kyle and Lulu.

Myde really couldn’t believe his ears, but he was glad that he took the chance. This was a life he never really knew. But… back at the task in hand…

“So because I lost my guitar and got disowned by my parents, I sorta enter this agreement with Master Gula y’know?” And Myde told them everything.

“Well, we happen to have a spot in our party if that’s your living arrangement,” Kyle said, earning a nod from all of his party members. “Don’t expect too much from partying up with us though. We can’t all be Ven, can we?” Everyone laughed.

“Ah, yeah, that guy,” Myde furrowed his eyebrows. “How come his Lux count is way off-charts?”

Ray and Lulu grinned before turning at him with mischief in their eyes. “Ah so come another one intrigued by the Ven mystery…” Lulu said dramatically at Trey, who pushed up his glasses and shrugged. “Well, I guess now you’re officially part of the Leopardus Union, Myde.”

“I don’t get it…” Myde scratched the back of his head.

Lulu sauntered over at Myde and sat next to him. “Ven is the first on the all-time ranking board! Not much is known about him other than he doesn’t really party with anyone.”

“So he’s a solo or something? I’ve never heard of a solo Lux-gatherer…”

“There are plenty of rumors about him,” Trey chimed in with a thoughtful hum. “Some said that Ven is just not a morning person. Yo Kyle do you know that KH once tried to do a stakeout to catch Ven?” Trey asked, earning a nod from everyone.

“Oh, I talked to KH! He said Ven is apparently blond and super young!” Lulu added.

“KH also said that the reason why Ven didn’t really party is that he’s just really really shy! It’s insane, isn’t it?” Ray also added.

“Well anyhow, welcome to our party, Myde. We’ll introduce you to everyone when we see them, okay?”

And that was how Myde managed to be friends with the Early-Birds.

\--

Myde didn’t have fancy medals.

Kyle and the others have reprimanded him about not using his jewels wisely, but he really wanted to buy a guitar and so he bought a guitar.

He restarted his shows, going around the Daybreak Town and remaking his name. It was then that his name slipped off the rankings as everyone’s medals got stronger and fancier.

“Dude you really gotta step it up,” Kyle said with a sigh. “We can’t keep covering for you, you know? Master Gula is even asking us about how you’re earning your rent.”

“C’mon Kyle, lighten up a bit! Everyone’s digging my new Arpeggio! Now’s the moment for me to shine!”

“Suit yourself.”

Really, the Early-Birds were really kind to him.

He met a lot of people since he joined the party. Kyle introduced him to Daniel, who was the second-ranked party leader. Daniel then introduced him to other members of his party. Ray and Lulu would often drag him to the Leopardus girls’ tea party over at Daybreak Café because Myde was ‘not like other boys’. He’d play his guitar while hanging out with them. Trey eventually introduced him to KH, whose name apparently didn’t stand for anything and he just preferred to be called KH. Myde felt like he had a _home_.

It was then that Master Gula surprised him with an eviction note stuck on his door.

“But I’m still in Kyle’s party! We’re gathering the most Lux for Leopardus! Hell, I’m even on the second place in the daily-rankings today!”

“I didn’t really want to kick you out, but I figured that this would be the best way to get your attention.” Master Gula was laughing and Myde really wanted to kick the mask away from his face. But he took a deep breath and relished in relief instead.

“You came from a Clan, so I’m guessing you’d be the right person for the job.”

“Excuse me?”

“I have an apprentice…” Master Gula started as he sat on one of the sofas scattered around the Leopardus base. “I’ve been training him for quite some time now. But he didn’t have any friends even though he’s in my Union. I want you to do something about that.”

“Why on earth am I the one who’s got to do something about it? And besides, he’s got to be a really shy person if he didn’t manage to get a friend here…” Myde laughed. “It’s not like he’s Ven or anything, right?”

Being in the Leopardus for the last few months got him up to speed with most of the sayings used in the Leopardus Union. ‘Ven’ is a word that constitutes as both Urban Legend and Impossibility, but watching Master Gula’s deadpanned expression brought realization to Myde.

“Wait… it can’t be?!”

“It’s precisely what you think.”

Myde groaned.

\--

Ven is Ventus Halzen.

Ven is the motherflipping _Ventus Halzen!_

He knew about the wayward Halzen, of course, his parents would talk about the poor Halzens all the time. They’d talk about how the children of Halzen family had been too young when their parents departed in an accident. They’d talk about how the Halzen Twins had been climbing up ranks in the Unicornis, they’d talk about how terribly misguided Ventus Halzen had been to decide that he did not want to join the Unicornis and opted to leave the Halzen Manor. It was Clan gossip, one Myde Ilma knew very well.

But here he was, sitting in the poolside of Halzen Villa plucking at his guitar while Ventus Halzen sat across him clearly looking like he didn’t know what to do, Myde didn’t really feel that he was misguided.

It was kind of hard to believe that the Ven who had become huge urban legend and myth around the Leopardus Union was _the_ Ventus Halzen who was terribly young when he first summoned his keyblade. Terribly young. Terribly misguided. All-around terrible. Unfortunate Ventus, shy Ven. Misguided Ventus, heavy-sleeper-and-always-late Ven. Myde really had to laugh.

He had been here on Master Gula’s orders; to befriend Ven and to try and include him more on the way of Leopardus. But then he saw how Ventus behaved and was severely reminded of himself when he hadn’t met everyone else. Apparent from exhibit A: Myde was the one invading his home and being all-around obnoxious and yet _he_ was the one who looked like he didn’t know what to do?

That was a hell of a red flag.

“Uh, so, earth to Ventus Halzen…? Or can I just call you Ven?” The blond _flinched_ to attention, wide blue eyes on Myde’s own as he straightened his jacket and sat up straighter. “Just Ven is okay…” His voice was soft and when Myde stared straight to his eyes, Ven averted them away. Okay, he had a tough work upon him. He’d just hang around this kid so Master Gula won’t kick him out of the base…

That was supposed to be the plan. Ven was a mean to an end, a rent-free card so Myde could still keep his slow pace with Kyle’s party. It was really funny.

But right now as he helplessly watched the black and gray keyblade piercing at his chest and tearing himself apart, all he could say was:

“Please, give Ven back…”

The man, Master Luxu, laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's done! We'll return to Wayfinder Trio again in the next chapter!
> 
> How did you guys liking the development of this story so far? I hope I'm not boring or insulting your canon experience with this story ^^;


	8. Next Steps (where do we go from here?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terra and Aqua continue their face-off with Ven. While someone from the past found himself in the presence of familiar strangers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter needs attention alludes to some little details mentioned in previous chapters. I'll list the answer in the Author Notes below so you can check if you get the details or not!

Terra remembered Castle Oblivion.

It was a lonely and desolate place, consisted of white and not much else. He remembered that Xemnas had noted the brilliance and how much of an annoyance the card system was. Brilliant, because it served its purpose to trap those who dared to venture into the Castle to oblivion, and annoying because it made his search much more difficult.

He… _Xemnas_ had been searching for Ven in Castle Oblivion. In the snippets of waking dreams Terra had, he could remember how determined Xemnas had been in his quest. The sentimental part of Terra wanted to believe that it was _him_ and not Xemnas, but he also remembered what Xemnas had thought of the time.

Xemnas felt lonely. Xemnas wanted to finish Master Xehanort’s plan. Xemnas wanted to find a keyblade wielder of old, just like he had found Number IX to Number XII, and then he would have— _wait._

_Does that mean that Xemnas had wanted Ven to be Number XIII?_

“Terra? Earth to Terra!” Ven was in front of him, waving his hands in front of Terra’s face. “Sorry, did I lose you with my boring story?” Terra shook his head and ruffled Ven’s hair. _As if he’d ever be bored by anything that is Ventus and Aqua, he loved them too much._

“I wasn’t bored, but a sudden realization about Castle Oblivion kinda hits me on the face a little,” Terra answered.

“You know, even though I know I’ve literally slept there for more than ten years… I haven’t actually been to Castle Oblivion,” Ven said thoughtfully as he crossed his legs on the sofa. “The last time I saw this place, it’s still the Land of Departure. And when I wake up, it’s also the Land of Departure.”

The number of things he had glossed over in that statement had brought silence to both Aqua and Terra. The last time Ven saw the castle was before Terra… killed the Master. Terra had seen his home getting destroyed by Master Xehanort with his own two eyes. Aqua must have seen it when she was bringing Ven and created Castle Oblivion itself. And that left only Ven.

Aqua took a deep breath and shrugged. “It was a lonely place; everything is white and every room is the same unless you construct worlds with your memories. The only place that had been different is the Chamber of Waking.” Aqua had a smile on her face that Terra knew she reserved only for Ven. Tenderness, protectiveness, and a certain thoughtfulness that was just _Ven’s_. When Ven came for the first time, Terra had been so afraid to mess up (given what happened at their first encounter) while Aqua welcomed Ventus with an easy grace.

They always had a certain comfortability around them, Aqua and Ven. And even though Terra knew that whenever they got into arguments Ven would most probably side with him rather than Aqua, but during moments Ven didn’t want to talk, he’d come to Aqua.

The smile on Aqua’s face was off and Ven didn’t push further. He just shrugged as he kissed the back of Chirithy’s head, earning a small giggle from the cat. Terra couldn’t help but chuckle at that because _Ven has really grown_. If this was ten years ago, he would have pushed Aqua and even begged her to transform to castle once more just so he could see.

(And besides, Terra knew why Castle Oblivion was the way it was. Aqua, the acknowledged residing Master of Land of Departure at the time, didn’t really care about aesthetics. She wanted a place that would protect Ven in his sleep and the castle had answered to her. The only place that would look different is the Chamber of Waking, because that was were Aqua’s heart rested, where Ventus were.)

“Anyhow, we really should start resuming our lives from where we left them off…” Aqua said as she reached for the cup of tea they had forgotten. She walked over and absently placed the cup on top of the roaring fire and as usual, it didn’t burn. The Enchanted Fire Terra had cast years ago in the winter solstice wasn’t designed to burn those who considered him a friend, after all. Aqua and Ven could throw themselves onto the fire and won’t feel anything but a warm ticklish sensation.

(He knew; he did that the year Aqua cast the fire, after all. Ven had been hysterical when it happened, trying to pull Terra away from the fire with all his strength while screaming bloody terror for the Master and Aqua to help, only for her to push him onto the fire herself. They all had a good laugh when Ven’s face turned up with awe.)

Terra considered her words, and from the corner of his eyes, he could see Ven doing the same thing with more confusion in his eyes.

“Hmmm,” he began as he put his chin on top of Chirithy’s head. “Where exactly did we leave our lives though?”

Terra was about to mull over his words when Ven, swift as his namesake, continued.

“I guess the Mark of Mastery Exam? I’ve always dreamed of seeing you guys become Masters and be a Master myself! But…” Ven’s eyes met with Aqua’s own, wide and wondrous and inquiring. “There are other things I want to know now…” He hugged Chirithy tighter in his arms.

The Mark of Mastery Exam…

It only seemed like it was yesterday.

Aqua was the one who took a deep breath as she returned to her seat by the sofa. Both he and Ven shifted, their bodies facing Aqua almost like a practiced routine. Out of the three of them, Aqua was the one who probably felt the passage of time the hardest. She didn’t age, just like the two of them, but the realm of darkness had probably aged her in a way that Terra couldn’t even begin to fathom.

The look in her eyes when she regarded him and Ven was… hard to explain. There were love and devotion, of course, he’d seen that one in the mirror even long before he and Aqua were ready to become Masters. Then there was desperation, loneliness, and _possessiveness_. Aqua has always been a bit overbearing, but sometimes she looked like all she wanted was to lock them away from _anything_ that may cause them harm.

It wasn’t like Terra didn’t understand, but it was a scary look to see on Aqua.

Terra had to thank Kingdom Hearts that Ven was here, sitting between him and Aqua, effortlessly leaning towards her in a silent question. Aqua smiled at him before ruffling his hair.

“If you want to say something, you’re free to say it, Ven.” Aqua let out a soft laugh.

Ah, Aqua and Ven’s telepathy again.

“Well… rather than resuming what we left off, I’d much rather we start a new chapter in our lives?” Ven said quizzically, as he was prone to do whenever he felt like he and Aqua won’t get what he meant. “I mean, I can’t just ‘resume where we left off’ right? There's Chii and _him_ in my heart now, not to mention the memories I didn’t have before…” Ven’s voice trailed like he wanted to say something but he had to rethink it.

Chirithy turned to face Ven, its face was strangely unreadable, but it was watching.

Silence fell again between the three of them.

Terra honestly wanted to agree with Ven. He wanted to start a new chapter in his life, to pay no heed to what happened in the past and just focus on the future he had so desperately coveted when he was trapped in the Guardian. But… he had hurt a lot of people. He had hurt _Aqua,_ making her spend ten years of her life in the realm of darkness. He had hurt Ven with Master Xehanort’s keyblade; if his armor hadn’t been there, who was to say that Ven will be with them today?

Not to mention what he had done to Riku, to Ienzo, to Aurora, to Cinderella, to everyone…

Aqua’s hand found his and she gripped it tight. In fact, both of her hands were on his and Ven’s, her expression worried yet there was a nervous smile. It seemed that Aqua had her own battle, too…

“I’m with you, every step of your way,” Aqua said without addressing any of them. _She didn’t need to_. “It’s just that… we’re finally together again. I don’t want to let go of any of you…”

Chirithy leaped to Ven’s shoulder, still with the same unreadable look on its face, watching.

“You’re so silly, Aqua,” Ven said as he put her hand on his cheek, grinning. “I’m here! If anything, I don’t want to let _you_ guys out of my sight. Twelve years I spent dreaming about you guys leaving me behind! Of course I want to know more about our—my memories from before, but I also want you guys to be here and listen to everything about it!” Aqua and Terra had to smile at that. Ven always insisted that he wasn’t _that_ much younger than the two of them, but they really couldn’t help it. Ven’s childlike bright nature was just refreshing for the two of them. “And besides, _you’re_ my Master now, aren’t you Aqua? Did that get passed down too or do I have to find a new Master to teach me the ways of the keyblade?”

Oh. Yeah.

“And since Xehanort acknowledged Terra’s Mark of Mastery, does that mean he’s a Master too now? _Did I miss you become Master Terra?!”_

It was clear that Ven meant that statement to be a joke, but Chirithy was the only one who laughed. Aqua’s eyes were immediately on him while Terra stared back, utterly not knowing what to think about it. It was true that Master Xehanort had deemed him a Master, but… how much of it was a lie? Or a ploy to get Terra to stray to the darkness? He didn’t pass the Mark of Mastery Exam Master Eraqus had laid out for him, unlike Aqua. And… if what Ven said rang true, did that mean that Aqua is his current Master?

Aqua took a deep breath and shook her head, seamlessly averting her gaze away from Terra and onto Ven with a small smile on her face. She put her hand on Ven’s face, her expression fond. “I would be honored to be your Master, Ven, that is if you want me to of course…” She said softly. “If you feel weird or awkward with me, you can always ask Master Yen Sid or Mickey, since he is a proper keyblade master as well. Or maybe Riku, too.”

“Not Riku,” Ven pouted. “He’s… younger than me isn’t he? Won’t that just be awkward? I want you, Aqua, we learn from the same Master so it just made sense that I continue on with you? Or with Terra, since he’s a Master too!”

“Oh I’m no Master,” Terra spoke for the first time since the entire topic about keyblade masters were brought up. “My acknowledgment was just a ploy by Master Xehanort so I’d become his vessel, wasn’t it? I haven’t mastered the ways of the keyblade yet.” _If he had he wouldn’t have strayed too far into the darkness, after all._

“Well, even though I’m a Master there _are_ things I still don’t have a grasp on,” Aqua hummed. “Maybe we can ask Master Yen Sid about it. Along with Ven’s… matters, too.” She shared a look with Terra, who was about to nod when Ven’s eyes narrowed at them.

“What matter?” Ven asked as he turned his face to Aqua and then to him. “I’m okay, seriously! It’s true that I don’t know much about what’s going on with us—I mean me and Vanitas—but I swear I’m okay!”

Terra didn’t need to ask Aqua to know what she was thinking. _What happened just now was not alright at all._ The way Ven’s eyes glazed over with _something_ they didn’t know, his faraway look, the way his body convulsed under their hands… _it was definitely not ‘okay’._

“Let’s just ask to be sure, okay?” Aqua smiled softly, trying to reassure Ven. “You… haven’t had to live with your darkness for _years_ now and that is definitely something to talk about. I don’t have any knowledge about this, and the Master’s rule of thumb, if you don’t know then—“

“You consult someone who knows.” Terra finished the words, smiling in turn. It was nice to agree with Aqua on something, really.

“Or you read books to find out! I’ll do that, okay? I’ll read a lot of books and try to explain what’s going on with us, I mean, me.”

“Why are you so insistent about not going, Ven? It’s rare to see you this hardheaded over something.” Terra chimed thoughtfully. Ven might be insufferable at times, but usually if Terra and Aqua had agreed over something, Ven would just take it as a majority vote. But this time there was a fire in his eyes and it was downright ablaze. He wouldn’t back down.

It was apparent from Aqua’s silence that she, too, thought Ven’s insistence as weird.

Ven took a deep breath as his hand idly went over to Chirithy, who was sitting on his shoulder. “I just… I don’t think Vanitas would want that?”

Aqua drew a sharp breath.

\--

What wouldn’t Aqua give to know just what _exactly_ happened with Ven.

It just seemed incredulous to see him here, with furrowed brows and uncertain hands as he absently scratched his cat’s cheek, defending Vanitas.

She knew that she had promised to trust Ven, but it didn’t mean she could just up and _do_ it.

Because everything she knew about Vanitas just clashed with Ven’s behavior. Aqua could still remember the resigned look on Ven’s face when he asked them to end him, all because Xehanort wanted him to fight Vanitas and forge the X-blade. Ven had told them about what drove him into saying that the first night they went back, when they all brought out their blankets to spend the night below the stars. Ven had started the whole thing, talking about what happened on the day they lost everything until what he dreamed of in his twelve-years-long nap. Aqua and Terra had listened to him, even telling their stories in bits and pieces though still unwilling to elaborate their tales.

The conclusion he had taken from Ven’s story is the fact that Vanitas had blatantly lied about Terra to goad Ven into leaving the Land of Departure. Vanitas had threatened Ven with Terra and Aqua’s lives (and she felt both proud and sad that he had treasured them so much to the point that he was willing to sacrifice himself if only it would guarantee their safety from Vanitas). Vanitas had been the reason why Ven had to fracture his own heart. But now…?

It almost felt like facing Ven whenever he was defending Terra.

Terra furrowed brows told many words Aqua didn’t need to hear. Terra was confused at the situation, that was why his silence was persistent. He didn’t look at Ven, nor did he look at Aqua. He was alone with his thoughts, trying to make sense of what was going on.

Ven won’t back down, and if she wasn’t feeling like she might lose him, Aqua knew she would have pushed Ven away by attributing his stubbornness to his age.

“Ven…” Aqua sighed. She didn’t want to argue with Ven or Terra, especially not when she just got them back. “I honestly don’t understand why you’re defending Vanitas. You asked me to trust you, and I do, really I do. But please… help me make sense of this.” Because it simply _didn’t make sense._ She thought Ven would have resented Vanitas the way she did.

Ven’s eyes didn’t meet hers or Terra’s. He fixed it downwards to his own lap, prompting Chirithy to pat his head in a comforting gesture. She would have done so herself, but Aqua digressed. _No. She needed his explanation._

“It’s just… it felt right…” Ven whispered. He sounded so… quiet and it reminded Aqua of the time Ven _was_ quiet. Because after he fully woke from his coma, Ven was _anything_ but quiet. He was energetic and sassy and noisy and all-around a joy to be with (except for the quiet moments under the stars, when all Ven wanted was to stare at the skies that were both familiar and yet not). Aqua let him continue.

“I… I didn’t even know that something was wrong before. I didn’t even _realize_ it until now. I really can’t explain it, because it doesn’t make sense to me either, but…” Ven put his hand on top of his chest and squeezed them. “It felt _right_. It felt right to feel his fear or rage or sorrow, it felt right to _me_. It felt wrong to see him fall just because he felt my love or admiration or any kind of positivity, it felt _right_ to see our memories from before. We were really one person…”

There wasn’t any sound except for the crackling fire, but she quietly put her hand on Ven’s shoulder, a silent gesture for him to continue.

“So if you don’t understand, it makes total sense. Because I don’t understand either. But it felt right, Ventus and I, we are meant to be one Ventus Halzen.”

Huh…?

Who?

Before Aqua could ask her question, Chirithy leaped away from Ven’s head and onto the table. It had a neutral expression on its face, but it felt somehow… tense.

“Wait,” Terra started, his lips curved into a frown. “Who’s Ventus Halzen?”

But Ven didn’t answer him and the silence persisted.

Aqua’s heart pounded noisily against her ribcage. She so desperately wanted to shake an immediate answer from the uncharacteristically silent Ven, but she gritted her teeth. _No. She can’t push away her friends again. That was a once in a lifetime mistake she had paid too high of a price for._

Chirithy took a deep breath as it made a small jump to Ven’s lap. “Ventus…? Is that you?”

Ven stood up abruptly, knocking Chirithy off its feet, but he caught its hand and put it on his shoulder. Ven exhaled, bit his lip, and shook his head before walking away.

Aqua and Terra sat still in complete silence, but when he reached the doorway, Ven turned to them with a foreign expression of _guilt_ marring his young face.

“…I’m sorry, Aqua, Terra. But I won’t leave, even when nothing makes sense to any of us.” And then he was gone.

\--

 

_Elsewhere…_

There were people all around him, he knew because he could hear faint noises talking to each other. And who else talks but people, right? Certainly not the Heartless, certainly not the Darklings…

“—awake?” A girl.

“No idea really.” A boy.

“Should we kick him awake?” A man, a particularly annoying man.

“No! I actually like him! He was nice to me.” Another girl, her voice softer.

“Yeah, he was hilarious.” _Ah!_

He snapped his eyes open as he turned to the voice of a familiar friend. How long ago was it that he last heard _that voice_ talk outside of his own mind? And _there he was!_ Messy blond hair still sporting its windswept look that he had always thought fitting for a boy who was named after the wind.

It had been years now, Myde will probably be _really_ excited to see him again! And Elrena as well, though she won’t be as excited as Myde will…

“Hey Luxord…? Are you okay?”

“I am… fine, thank you. You always seem to have a habit of asking me if I am alright or not, Ven Halzen.”

Everyone stared at him like he was insane, but well, it was somewhat of a norm for people to stare at people of his Clan. These people… all looked really familiar, but his head was spinning still so he focused on the only familiar person…

…who was looking at him like he was a stranger. That was weird. Ven Halzen knew him, they were friends, even.

“Hey Luxord, do you remember who we are?”

The girl with dark hair and blue eyes asked, her eyes kind yet melancholic. She reminded him of Elrena whenever she got too deep in her thoughts about Strelitzia…

Oh, wait.

“Young lady, I think you have the wrong person,” he said with a smile, because his name is not Luxord. Not at all. “My name is Lourd Gyllen. Call me Lou.”

Ven Halzen then took out a foreign device from his pocket and put it on his ear.

“Hi, is this Aqua? Yeah it’s Roxas. Why do you have Ventus, I mean, Ven’s phone? Oh, okay. Listen, I have a former vessel of Xehanort here in Twilight Town and… he seems to be mistaking me for Ven. So… yeah…”

Lou Gyllen shrugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Be honest. Did anyone expect Luxord showing up at all in this fic? Is he important? Hehehe~
> 
> The answers:  
> 1\. Chirithy took a deep breath as it made a small jump to Ven’s lap. “Ventus…? Is that you?”   
> This is pretty much a hint that if Aqua had picked up Chirithy's naming habits, she would have gotten the confirmation that it was Vanitas speaking. Chirithy never called Ven Ventus, after all.
> 
> 2\. Everyone stared at him like he was insane, but well, it was somewhat of a norm for people to stare at people of his Clan  
> It is mentioned in the previous chapter that people of the Vulpeus are free-spirited and all-around considered weirdoes (Myde noted a Vulpeus dancing to his music in his narration). The Gyllens, the Clan of Vulpeus, would do this kind of thing often so Lourd took it in a stride.
> 
> Okay! Please tell me what you guys think of this development because I'm HELLA excited about everything!


	9. Missing Ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanitas and Aqua talks. Ven met a quirky old (new) friend. Everyone is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse to be honest...

Daybreak Town has always been a vibrant place.

But this Daybreak Town… he didn’t know if it really _was_.

So he walked around in the town where he was born, retaking the scenery as he walked, trying to note the difference between this world and the one he had left behind. When he found none, Ventus didn’t really know what to feel about that.

But in this world… his Chirithy is gone, he was alone, and he…

“Myde, hurry up! You wanna party or you want to have a show?!”

“Ahhh wait a sec!”

He really cannot talk to them if he didn’t want to risk letting them know about the truth. Eph and Skuld had asked him, pleaded to him even, not to talk to the members of the Leopardus so no one would find out about the truth of this world. So Ven took a deep breath, averted his gaze, and walked towards the clock tower with heavy steps.

(He had existed as myths and legends spoken by the members of Leopardus before, he can always return to that position. Myde has always been oddly okay with everything Ventus does, he was sure that Myde won’t mind him becoming urban legends again…)

“I’m okay,” Ven whispered as he exhaled a deep breath. “I’m alright. I’m used to be alone.” He had been alone to protect the Halzen name before, he was sure that he could be alone for an even better reason; to protect Myde and the Leopardus Union from anything that may cause them harm. That was the least he could do as the chosen Union leader of Leopardus, after all.

“You walk with heavy steps, young one,” Ven turned immediately towards the man who’s speaking from his seat on the fountain’s edge. There wasn’t anyone else around, so… wait…

“Yes, I am talking to you, the blond child with heavy steps and even heavier name. Would you care for a card game? Might do your mood some good…”

The man didn’t turn to face him, his eyes were still intent on the cards laid in front of him, but Ventus went over to him nonetheless. He could hear Lauriam and Skuld’s chiding tone already as he approached the stranger by the fountain, but Ventus didn’t care. Because people who knew the significance of his last name shouldn’t really exist anymore in _this_ world. Not many people in the Dandelions follow the Clans’ life since they were all young, and Ventus hasn’t yet met the rumored Medve; so there shouldn’t be anyone who knew that his name was heavy other than Brain…

Save for this person.

So Ventus approached the man with furrowed brows and a frown on his lips, wary and apprehension clear on his face. “Who are you…?”

There was a smile that reminded Ventus so much of his siblings on his fifth birthday on this man’s face. It was both warm and welcoming, and the fact that his eyes were blue made him even more nostalgic. But the silence hung between the two of them and Ven had to clear his throat to fill the awkwardness in the air.

“Um, are you alright?”

The man didn’t say anything, only cocking his head to the empty spot across him. Ven’s gaze went over to the cards laid out, some of them were laid out facing his way instead of the man, so he took a deep breath and sat on the fountain. The first thing Ventus noted was the constant sound of flowing water that had been a familiar accompaniment to Myde’s music shows.

Once Ven took the cards that had been laid out for him, the blond man had a huge smile on his face as he offered him a free hand.

“It is a pleasure to play with you, Ven Halzen. My name is Lourd Gyllen,” _Ah… so that’s why he knew who I was…_ “But please, call me Lou. I see that we are quite similar that way. And to answer your question, yes, I am alright.”

There was a familiar clipped tone of a Clansmen Ventus knew by heart and it sparked a familiar whine of Myde complaining about how formal he sounded. So Ventus smiled back and took the offered hand.

“Pleasure to meet you as well, Lou Gyllen. As you know, I am Ventus Halzen.”

And that was the start of an unlikely friendship of the four Clans, the only people who knew the dynamics of the old world in the new one; the only adult Dandelion from Gyllen, the terribly misguided young Halzen, the traitor of Ilma, and the nymph of Medve.

 

\--

 

“Are you going to say something?”

“No, I won’t.”

Chirithy didn’t need to speak for Vanitas to know that the other was judging him. He still had the oddly familiar hardened look on his face and Vanitas realized that he both hate _and_ miss them. Chirithy reminded him of some of his Unversed sometimes, but at the same time, Chirithy mattered _more_.

Vanitas took a deep breath and exhaled them. He _really_ needed to stop overthinking stuff.

“How’s Ventus? The idiot is probably surprised that I took control from him so suddenly.”

“He’s taking a trip down the memory lane,” Chirithy answered with a smile. “There’s also someone who likes to surprise Ven like what you did. So I guessed you must have triggered it.”

It felt… somewhat comforting to walk with Chirithy on his shoulder like this. It felt like he’d done it a million times before, conversing about nothing in particular. Vanitas let his feet take him to Ventus’ favorite place by the hills, one that overlooked the castle of the Land of Departure, where he had first spent the night after burying his Master all curled up between his friends.

Chirithy was humming alongside him as he watched the surroundings. The Land of Departure was a beautiful place, with a lot of hills and greens and marble stones which serve as seats. There were also multiple wooden poles, a testament that this place was where Master Eraqus and the Masters before him had trained their own apprentices in the way of the keyblade. It was certainly different from the Badlands where he had lived previously, but everything felt familiar to him somehow. He supposed that it was because Ventus must have walked these hills a million times before.

Vanitas took a seat by the cliff’s edge, golden eyes absently observing the nook and curves of the castle, enjoying the bird-eye view with Chirithy by his side. This too, felt familiar. It didn’t make him sick and he wondered why it didn’t.

“You’ve always loved high places,” Chirithy said as he jumped down from Vanitas’ shoulder and onto his lap. “You used to spend hours just to look over the town from the Clock tower. You even caught a cold once because you were enjoying the rain on the roof of the Villa without bothering to put on a jacket.” He giggled.

The memories washed him like a wave; of him idly standing on the roof of the Villa as the rain poured on him. It reminded him so much of… _someone._

Someone whose keyblade called upon the rain. Someone who told him that he was extremely important…

His head hurt.

Vanitas took a deep breath and groaned, earning Chirithy’s attention. He asked him if he was okay and all Vanitas could do was nod. “Yeah, it’s just Ventus… I think.” It certainly felt like Ventus, because his heart panged with something he really couldn’t identify. Ventus was feeling a negative emotion then. It always felt weird to him when Ventus echoed a negative feeling that Vanitas couldn’t easily identify. It was tangible enough to be felt, but too vague to understand. But it felt so much like… dissatisfaction.

“You should check on him, Chirithy.”

“I should…” He disappeared with a wave.

Then Vanitas was alone.

It was… quiet. He couldn’t hear Ventus or Chirithy, nor could he hear anything else. Vanitas closed his eyes and let the wind caressed his entire being.

For that moment, he didn’t exist.

Because at that moment, he didn’t feel like Vanitas. He was just… Ventus. He remembered the feeling of the wind and wishing so desperately to have wings and fly away. But he knew that he couldn’t fly, that was why being in high places felt… nice.

It wasn’t a Vanitas trait. It was a Ventus Halzen trait, _their_ trait.

“Here you are,” he didn’t turn to see the voice. He didn’t need to. He knew who she was. “I know that I can find you here. You always come to this place when you are upset.” There was a faint giggle and he smiled along with her. She always knew where to find him and he was always grateful. The Manor was huge, there were a lot of places he could be, and yet she always…

“I’m not upset,” Ventus said, cursing the way his voice sounded so childishly petulant. “I just…” _what?_

What had he been upset about?

“Ventus…” She took a deep breath and placed her hand on top of his own, it was really warm. “You are extremely precious to me. You know that… don’t you?”

“Of course I know. You are precious to me too,” Ventus answered, turning to her slightly with a huge smile. “Aria.”

“Ah… who?”

Vanitas blinked.

It felt like waking up from a daze, but he remembered what happened perfectly. He was sitting on the cliff and _Master Aqua_ was holding his hand, most probably convinced that he was Ventus. And yet she smelled so utterly familiar. Like a calming, soothing, light that constantly shone in the middle of the night. Like rain that gently cleansed everything. Like a calming aria for the night sky…

Oh.

_Oh._

Rainfell… it had been _her_ keyblade Before.

Vanitas took a deep breath before using his other hand to put Aqua’s hand off his own.

“I’m not Ventus,” he said curtly. “So you probably shouldn’t sit so close to me.”

Master Aqua had a solemn look on her face, a look that shouldn’t feel so nostalgic to him because Vanitas had always been the recipient of Master Aqua’s anger, hatred, and apprehension. Nothing else. And yet… it made him nostalgic anyways. Because Aria Halzen always had a solemn look that complemented her twin’s stoic-yet-hardened expression.

Vanitas shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Look, I—“

“I think it was quite unfair of me to dismiss Ven’s arguments like that,” Master Aqua sighed. “I decided to trust him… so I think I should make an effort to at least talk to you as well.” Then, silence.

It was odd to see Master Aqua and _not_ want to pummel her into the ground or even to rile her up. Vanitas saw Master Aqua and all he could see was the choppy blonde hair and the bright green eyes that regarded him with a kind yet solemn look. Aria had always been regretful regarding her decisions about him, after all…

But Master Aqua was the one who took a deep breath and restarted the conversation.

“When Sora and Ven offered you a choice to pick the light… why didn’t you?” Her eyes were bright blue and it pierced right through him. She was _not_ Aria. She never will be. “Ven… he… I don’t understand what he was thinking but he offered you a chance to stand by the light. Why didn’t you…?”

It was a question Vanitas had expected to come from Ventus, _not_ from Master Aqua.

But Ventus didn’t seem to care. He never seemed like he wanted to ask. He just went along with his existence and though they still scream at each other, Ventus never once said that Vanitas should get out of their heart. Vanitas felt the most normal (happy) whenever he was with Ventus. It felt natural. Like nothing was missing, unlike his entire existence…

“I… never wanted to exist,” Vanitas started quietly, lowering his gaze so it won’t meet Aqua’s own. “I never wanted to be anything else other than Ventus. Anything else other than myself. If I had chosen to stand by the light, then I would have stopped being Ventus’ darkness and I don’t want that.” _What else could he be if he wasn’t Ventus’ darkness?_

“I am Ventus’ darkness. I am his negativity. Sora had helped him mend his heart, but Sora didn’t return what he had lost. _I did._ Sora defined me, but I don’t _want_ to be defined. I just want…” Vanitas let his words trail. He wanted to be Ventus again. He wanted everything to stop. He thought (Master said) that the only way to achieve that was to forge the X-blade, but these few weeks had proven him wrong. He was Ventus, everything had stopped, and he hadn’t need to stop being the darkness nor did he need to fracture Ventus’ heart and create the X-blade.

Aqua’s eyes lingered on him, piercing and analyzing, yet it didn’t feel invasive at all.

Because he knew that she was doing it for Ventus’ sake and all in all, their objective was the same. He needed to protect himself, because if not he would break. Like the time he had _killed_ —what?

“The Master once said… that the keyblade is the manifestation of one’s heart…” Aqua began, snapping Vanitas out of his train of thoughts. Aqua took a deep breath and exhaled before setting her gaze straight at Vanitas once more.

“I… will be resuming Ven’s training as his Keyblade Master.” She said, steel in her eyes and iron lacing her tone. “If you are a part of him, then you will be my apprentice as well. Please show me your keyblade, Vanitas; then I will see for myself if you are a danger to Ven and Terra or not.”

_It’s alright, Gale and I will protect you. No danger will ever befall you, our dearest Ventus._

Vanitas trembled.

His heart _hurt_ , like someone just threw a bucket of hot water over his chest. Vanitas felt… lonely and sad yet oddly nostalgic as well. If this was him before, he would have puked an Unversed out, but it just… made him really sad instead. Aria had been crying when she promised him that they will protect him. But she was both protective and assuring, just like Master Aqua before him at this very moment.

Vanitas didn’t even notice the single tear running on his cheek when he called upon his keyblade.

Aqua was the first to rise when it appeared, definitely curious of the completely different keyblade resting snugly in his hand like it had always been there. Vanitas was the second to notice; first from its weight and then its color…

It was still dark, still black, but it had pointy greens instead of red gears. It reminded him of the stained glass platform still existing inside their heart. The black was him and the green was Ventus…

“That’s…”

“Missing Ache,” Vanitas called.

The keyblade felt warm in his hand, probably acknowledging its name. It was weirdly warm, but it felt right. It was teeming with the power of darkness, one that Vanitas was familiar with, but there was still light there. Small and flickering, but light nonetheless.

“That… wasn’t your keyblade before…” Aqua chimed as she carefully watched the new blade. “But this isn’t the Wayward Wind either. Does it symbolize your newly-forged bond?”

“More than new… I think this was something we used to wield before…” Missing Ache had come to him later. After everything had happened and he had left everything behind… he had tried to call Starlight only for Missing Ache to come and took its place. He remembered realizing what he had left behind and desperately missing them. Chirithy… Aria… Gale….

“This keyblade… it felt…” _sad_. Vanitas didn’t need to hear her to know what was in her mind. Missing Ache felt sad because it was a keyblade that symbolized his loss. _Their_ loss.

Aqua took a deep breath and schooled her expression into a semblance of neutrality.

“It seems that you really _are_ different from who you were before,” Aqua noted carefully, as if not quite sure with her own words as well. “Very well then, let’s… let’s get to know each other, Vanitas.” She offered him a hand.

And it was _stupid_. Extremely poor decision-making on her part. How come she and Terra accepted him so easily? He had destroyed their lives! He and the Master have essentially killed their Master and destroyed their home. He had nearly killed Aqua many times and he was the one fractured Ventus’ heart! He was a being of darkness; it just didn’t make any sense for them to just… welcome him like this!

_Hey, it’s alright._

Vanitas’ eyes widened as Ventus’ voice echoed from within his skull. He tensed up and bit his lower lip, trembling.

_I told you didn’t I? We’re not just light and darkness, sifted apart nice and neat. You chose to return to me; so even when what you did won’t just be forgotten… I promise that it will be forgiven. You have a home here, with me—with us._

**_I don’t want to exist without you anymore._ **

_I know. Me too, I guess._

Vanitas snorted, earning a raised eyebrow from Aqua, who immediately cleared her throat to earn his attention.

“Well?”

“Hope you don’t regret your choice, _Master_ Aqua,” Vanitas took her hand. And that was the best thing that she could get.

 

\--

 

The walk back to the castle was filled with silence, but Aqua found that she didn’t mind it at all.

Vanitas was quiet, mostly quieter than Ventus. He didn’t suddenly want her to race him or to stop on the wooden posts to hit some target before getting too exhausted and opt to roll himself off the hills. Vanitas was… like Ven on a bad rainy day, quiet and mysterious.

But… she needed to say something to Ven. Roxas’ phone call had been unsettling and she and Terra had argued about what to do. In the end, she had (very reluctantly) let Terra go to Twilight Town to see what was going on. She had expected him to make a phone call from his Gummiphone to tell them what he saw, not _this_.

There Terra was with his armor still on and a person cloaked in the black coat that was all too familiar to Aqua.

“Oh, Aqua! Roxas and the others send their regards.”

It crossed her mind to run to them. To force Terra behind her back and be ready of the stranger’s attack, but someone else had beaten him into it.

Ven was running towards Terra, possibly to hug him or to tackle the stranger onto the ground, but when the stranger opened his hood Ven stopped _dead_ on his tracks.

“Once again the fate had brought you to me, Ven Halzen,” he said as tears leaked from his eyes in a quiet notion. “You… walk with lighter steps now, do you know that?”

Silence overcame all four of them as the blond stranger looked at Ven with an expression akin to Terra’s own when they first reunited in the Keyblade Graveyard. Who was he…? And why does he…

Ven was shaking, but it was apparent that he was trying to hold back his tears when he walked closer to the man and looked up to his blue eyes with a determined expression. “A-are you… real?”

Aqua wasn’t sure if it was Ven or Vanitas, because he didn’t look like any of them at this very moment.

The blond man smiled as he opened his arms. “As real as you’ll have me, my dearly—terribly—misguided friend.” And Ven seemed to melt at that because he broke down and cried as he hugged the blond man in a tight hug.

“Lou!!! I’m sorry!”

“I’m sure you are. But Brain told us what you did. You were really brave…”

Aqua and Terra frowned, not sure on what to do with the entire situation. Terra walked over to her, dismissed his armor, and whispered to her ear: “Do you know this guy?”

“No, not at all.”

There was more to their youngest friend than his darkness or what they thought they knew of him all this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aqua wasn’t sure if it was Ven or Vanitas, because he didn’t look like any of them at this very moment.
> 
> This chapter marks the start of the changes in Ventus and Vanitas' narration style (if you guys noticed). They are starting to assimilate with Ventus Halzen, and that will bring about changes in their dynamics with Aqua and Terra. The next chapter we'll see Terra and Aqua's arguments before Terra got to go to Twilight Town and what happens in the Twilight Town before Terra and Luxord came to Land of Departure.
> 
> And on the next next chapter we'll get to see snippets of what happened in the past from Lourd Gyllen's story. So stay tuned!!
> 
> Also! Try guessing the still-unnamed wielder of Medve Clan!


	10. (what lies) Beyond (the) Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The argument between Aqua and Terra that leads to Terra's departure to the Twilight Town. And how Terra first met Lou Gyllen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I have any excuse? Obviously not. But hey, better late than never, right?

It felt extremely sudden.

And Aqua knew that she should have expected that. The Master once joked about how much Ven controlled the atmosphere around him without even knowing it. When Ven was his usual cheerful self, the world brightened without any sort of explanation. It just did. Everyone in the room with him would feel happy and content. When Ven got oddly quiet, the world dimmed for a bit. And when Ven got upset, the world will get _cold._

Thus, she should have known.

But she didn’t, because Ven almost never changed his mood in a sudden downturn. From warm and content, to confusion, and finally leaving the room in a quiet sort of anger. Aqua found herself dumbfounded as she stared at the door Ven had left open in a storm.

“Ah, I almost forgot how that felt,” Terra sighed as he took Aqua’s tea from the table. “Being so utterly swept in Ven’s pace that it felt like my feet got knocked off the ground. It’s… nostalgic.” He had a smile on his face and Aqua had to narrow her eyes at that. Here she was, being conflicted over something extremely Ven-esque. She had to get a grip and not get swallowed in the wave. She was a Master now, she should be better.

“But really, what does _he_ mean by Ventus Halzen though? Is that a name?”

“Am I hearing an emphasis on the he?” Aqua bantered good-naturedly. Calmer. Better. Terra shrugged.

“Well, isn’t it obvious that it’s Vanitas storming out? No matter how upset Ven gets, he won’t just leave the room like that?”

_But… is it really so nice and neat like that?_

“Yeah, but…” Did that mean that whatever Ven did that was laced with negative emotions should be attributed to Vanitas? Aqua knew Ven, though he was an overall bright and cheery individual, it didn’t mean that he never had any sort of negativity whatsoever. Ven got mad, got angry, and got upset just like any other people even when it wasn’t frequent.

Aqua shook her head. She has to stop overthinking things like this.

Aqua took a deep breath. No use pondering over things she and Terra didn’t know. They’ll have to ask Ven himself later.

(Because there must always be a later. Aqua fought tooth and nail to make sure that there will be thousands of laters in their lives)

Back in the matter at hand, though…

“Hmmm Ven did mention something about having a full name, so I guess Ventus Halzen is his full name?” Terra lightly scratched his chin, a telltale sign that he was thinking. That was probably it, right?

“Probably,” Terra chimed, confirming her previous ponderings. “It’s kinda new to see him like that since he never really cared about his origins. Maybe Vanitas know things Ven doesn’t when it comes to their past…” It was said more for himself than for Aqua, but it was certainly a food for thought. Ven came to them a literal blank sheet who knew nothing but his own name, and he seemed to never have a problem with that. Unlike Aqua who decided to not bother about her origins unless needed or Terra who wanted to leave it all behind, Ven never knew anything. So… it kind of made sense that he’d want to know when the opportunity arises.

Silence befell Aqua and Terra as they pondered over Ven’s situation and Aqua didn’t find it loud at all. She and Terra shared more silences after the entire thing happened, but at least they shared it. Back in the realm of darkness, Aqua shared silence with herself and it was a miserable thing. So sharing silence with someone, even when that someone was Terra, was definitely a big improvement.

But that silence was broken by loud metal music coming from the cracks of the sofa.

The two childhood friends shared a look with each other before bursting into a gaggle of laughter.

And it was both warm and amazing because Ven, with all his cheeriness and bravado, did _not_ seem like a person who’d listen to metal music. If anything, she expected _Terra_ to listen to metal music, but she was wrong. Terra listened to Pop music, loud and cheery songs he got from Sora’s recommendations. Aqua listened to classical music she got from Riku’s recommendations. And Ven… well, they didn’t know about what Ven listened to and was both surprised and happy to find out.

(She supposed that hanging out with Lea, Isa, Roxas, and Xion must have brought that in Ven. The four of them share an odd sense of love for edgy metal music, after all)

Aqua wiped a tear from the corner of her eye before moving to slip her hand on the crack of the sofa. Though when she found Ven’s phone, she was surprised to see Roxas’ name.

Ven and Roxas shared a complicated yet overall good relationship. She knew that Roxas had been hurt at first when he saw Ven because he thought that _nothing about him was ever him_. But then Ven and Xion had smiled and told him that Roxas was Roxas before Ven dubbed them all siblings. Aqua honestly shared the sentiment; Roxas was Roxas, because she could easily tell them even from a glance.

So Aqua held up Ven’s phone to show Terra, who then cocked his head to persuade her to answer.

Aqua took a deep breath and answered.

“Hello?”

_“Hi, is this Aqua? Yeah it’s Roxas,”_ He sounded in a hurry to confirm himself. Did something happen?

“Yes, I do know that you are Roxas…” Aqua laughed, trying to diffuse Roxas’ nervousness. But Roxas didn’t waste any second.

_“Why do you have Ventus’, I mean, Ven’s phone?”_

“Ven left his phone and I assume that you’re calling him because you need him to answer. I’ll relay it to him, what’s wrong?”

_“Oh, okay. Listen, I have a former vessel of Xehanort here in Twilight Town and… he seems to be mistaking me for Ven. So… yeah…”_ Aqua nearly dropped the phone.

Terra tilted his head to the side, mouthing _what’s wrong_ as his eyes narrow. She must have paled considerably for Terra to pick it up. She took a deep breath before answering.

“I… I’ll check it out, Roxas. Can you keep him there with you? I’ll be along in a bit.”

_“Okay, we’ll wait. Thanks.”_ Aqua could hear his relief before he hung up the phone.

Aqua took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to calm herself. It’s alright. Everything’s fine. Roxas would have been more panicked if it was really, truly, Xehanort. It wasn’t a ghost of Xehanort trying to haunt Ven. No one will take Ven from them—from _her_. She will make sure of that.

“What’s wrong? You’re going to bruise your lip you know?”

Terra’s voice brought her out of her own fears and she found herself taking a deep breath. Terra scooted closer to her, his hand grounding hers and Aqua was wordlessly grateful of him, of his presence. “You okay?” Aqua had to smile at that. Dependable as ever…

“Roxas… he said that they found a former vessel of Xehanort in Twilight Town…” Terra’s face hardened, his hand too. But he kept his silence. “…and he’s looking for Ven.”

And that brought Terra’s frown.

“No,” he started. “No. Just… no.”

Aqua didn’t need words to understand Terra’s dread. But from the way Terra’s body trembled even as he held her hand, Aqua knew that there was more to what she felt. So she stared at him, trying to coax an answer out of him. Terra didn’t seem to think much about what her gaze meant as he kept murmuring to himself.

“Terra, we share our minds, remember?”

Terra’s eyes found hers in a moment that was terribly fragile. Doubt, guilt, self-flagellation, determination; many emotions flickered in Terra’s eyes and it _hurt_. It was her turn to tighten her hand around Terra’s, grounding him from his own darkness. Silence followed, another terrible moment for Aqua, but then Terra exhaled a long breath and let go of her hand.

Aqua waited.

Terra didn’t leave, and it was a battle she was willing to fight.

“I… well, _Xemnas_ wanted to find Ven as well…”

And that was the only explanation Aqua needed to understand Terra’s uneasiness.

Was this… was this former vessel of Xehanort acting upon Xemnas’ will to find Ven? What if they were? What if they were going to take Ven away? What if—?

“I’ll go to Twilight Town,”

Aqua narrowed her eyes, immediate rejection already on the tip of her tongue but she managed to hold it in. Despite everything, despite her worries, she knew that she shouldn’t ever push her friend away again. Yet she had to tell Terra of her worries, of her unwillingness, so she settled for a: “why?”

“I just… Aqua, these people used to move by Xemnas’ will…” _isn’t it up to me to take care of the mess left behind?_ had went unheard, but Aqua caught it just fine. “And I won’t let anyone take Ven away from us.” Aqua frowned.

“But… I think I should…”

“Aqua, you’re the current residing Master of Land of Departure,” Terra’s eyes were warm, welcoming, and kind though chiding and stern as well. It felt like Master, somehow. “You shouldn’t leave the Land unguarded.”

“But we all went to the Destiny Island together and it was all fine!”

“We locked the world before we go and this is different.”

“What difference is there, Terra?”

“Ven.”

Aqua clenched her fists, but she averted her gaze away from Terra.

She knew. She knew that Terra knew as well. Ven was not himself these days because things were changing so fast with Vanitas, Chirithy, and his own memories coming back to him. In this kind of situation, Aqua was better equipped to handle Ven. Terra was the direct and straightforward one, the anchor of their friendship that was steady and unmovable. But this situation required tact and delicacy, Ven needed to be understood instead of grounded…

Besides, Aqua understood the implication as well. Terra believed that she was stronger than him, so he trusted her to protect Ven instead of himself.

Aqua exhaled, but her hand found Terra’s shoulder and her eyes were on him. Close, tight, and even _possessive_ , but Terra put his hand on top of hers in the most reassuring way possible and she welcomed them with a solemn, defeated, smile.

“I don’t want you to go.” _I’m scared that you won’t return._

“I know. But, I have to.” _For Ven, for us._

“I’ll go now; you go find Ven. I won’t be long. I promise.” _I won’t ever leave you two alone._

“Come back soon.” _I trust you._

“Of course.” _Thank you._

Aqua watched as Terra left the lounge and her heart swelled. It felt… bittersweet. She wanted to hug him and never let him go. She wanted Terra to stay, but she clenched her fists and watched the flame flicker.

_Calm down. I trust him._

Aqua sighed.

She needed to find Ven.

 

\--

 

Twilight Town was a beautiful place.

It was quaint and quiet, bathed in the sunset that made it such a wonderful city. Terra had always been content with the Land of Departure’s isolation. For the longest of time it was just him and Master, then it was just him and Master and Aqua, and finally, it was just him and Master and Aqua and Ven. Terra liked the fact that he knew everyone intimately, but it didn’t mean that he didn’t find the bustling Twilight Town beautiful.

“Are you enjoying Twilight Town?” The soft voice brought Terra out of his reverie and he instantly smiled to the person speaking. He couldn’t help it, Xion just brought that sort of reaction from him. It pained him to see her so… nervous around him, most probably because Xemnas had terrified her. So Terra smiled as warmly as he could, trying his best to make her feel comfortable.

“Yes, I am. It’s very different from the Land of Departure, but it’s nice.”

“I see,” Xion replied almost distractedly. “The Land of Departure used to be Castle Oblivion, isn’t it?”

“More like Castle Oblivion used to be the Land of Departure, but yeah, that’s the gist of it,” Terra chuckled. “You should come sometime, I’m sure Ven will be happy to see you guys.” Because there was just no way that Xion would come without at least Roxas. Terra knew that Xion and Roxas both feel weirded out by Ven, despite the latter’s openness towards the two former Nobodies. If anything, Terra thought that it was exactly because Ven was so open that they felt weirded out.

But when all is said and done, Terra was convinced that the three of them were good friends.

Xion nodded with a small smile on her face and that was all Terra needed.

The two of them were walking across town from where Terra had appeared, the train station, and all the way to a mansion just outside of the town. And their walk had been a pleasant one. It’s been quite some time since he spent time with people other than Aqua and Ven and it was always a pleasant experience. Sora was always a joy to be with and with him, Riku and Kairi followed. Namine, too, always had a kind smile and insightful things to say. Lea and Isa were practically old married couple. Everyone was fun.

(Though he hurt most of them, all of them forgave him without as much as a blink and it was… baffling. Yet he was eternally grateful for it even when he thought that he didn’t deserve it)

“So, can you tell me about this… former vessel of Xehanort? What did you say his name was?”

“We know him as Luxord, he’s Number X. He’s... I don’t really know the circumstances of his membership,” Terra nodded, silently urging her to continue. “He’s nice. Nicer than some of the members.” Xion smiled a little to herself and it warmed Terra’s heart. She reminded him of Ven and Aqua, somehow.

They were already out of town and into the forest. It was a bit dark, but there was still a sufficient amount of light to guide their way. It was when they got into a clearing that he could make out Lea—Axel’s spiky red hair and Isa’s blue ones as they sat on the ground with their backs facing them.

“Arrrrgh you’re good at this!” Axel groaned loudly, earning a laugh from others in the circle.

“Well, he owned the card. Makes sense if he’s the one good at it.”

“You’re good at it though Pence,”

“Welcome to the circle of losers Lea,”

“Yeaaaah,”

Terra had to laugh at the scene laid out before him because it was just so fun to see. There were three tall men playing cards with four teenagers and it looked like more of the men were losing and it made for a good laugh.

“Hey guys! Terra’s here!”

Roxas was the first to perk up from the game, most probably because he was already on the ‘circle of losers’ (as dubbed by Isa). He immediately waved back to Xion. “Welcome back Xion! And hi Terra,” Roxas smiled.

And that seemed to break the circle as everyone turned to greet him. Terra smiled in return, greeting them all back. “It’s really good to see you guys. Ven and Aqua send their regards,” Terra assumed that they would definitely send the Twilight Townies their regards if things had been in a better situation when he left. Hell, Terra _knew_ that Ven would be here with him right now if things had been better.

But then his eyes immediately went to the blond man who wore the black coat only to find the other already staring at him with narrowed eyes.

“Terra, this is Luxord, a former Organization member,” Xion started as she stepped between Terra and the stranger. But the stranger’s eyes were still locked on him and he didn’t seem like he wanted to say anything.

“Uh, hi?”

Everyone was silent as the stranger approached him without any regards to his personal space. He stood really close to Terra, eyes narrowed and head tilted slightly.

“Is there something on my face?” Terra couldn’t help but ask, his hand ready to reach his keyblade if needed.

But then the stranger turned his face to the mansion, then back to him, and back to the mansion again.

“Okay you’re weirding us out here Luxord,” Axel said with a sigh, earning a small giggle from Olette. “Mind telling us what’s up with Terra?”

Luxord finally settled on Terra’s face, looking as if he was in the middle of remembering something very important. But then Hayner nudged him on the hips and he immediately cleared his throat.

“Sorry, where are my manners?” He said good-naturedly. “You… remind me of someone I’ve met before. My name is Lourd Gyllen, please call me Lou.” There was an offered hand and Terra took it with a tentative expression.

“I’m Terra,” he replied, not quite sure of what to say.

“This someone… is it the Superior?” Xion asked, her voice uncharacteristically small. The blond man eyed him from head to toe before shaking his head.

“No. I mean, I met him in a house that looked really similar to the one behind me. Tell me, do you really not feel familiar with the look of the mansion? Seriously?”

Terra took a few seconds to regard the house just behind the iron gate. It was quaint but old. There wasn’t anything special about the house, really. Just an abandoned mansion in the middle of the forest just outside of town.

“No, not at all.”

The blond—Lou—frowned.

“That’s odd. You remind me so much of him, though you have different-colored hair…” then he continued with an intelligible murmur that seemed to mean nothing for everyone but himself.

Roxas then cleared his throat, possibly to prevent the awkwardness into escalating even further.

“Uh, so Lou, this is Terra. He’s Ven’s friend who lives with him in the Land of Departure,”

Terra clenched his fists by his side as the blond’s eyes tripled in size, clearly surprised. “So… you are saying that Ven Halzen is alive and well? And he had friends…?”

“That’s what we keep telling you, Lou. Ven lives with his best friends in another World.” Pence sighed.

If Terra hadn’t been prepared for the way his voice shook, he certainly wasn’t prepared for the hug and tears.

“W-wha?”

“Thank you for making friends with him, he’s always needed one…” Lou whispered, his voice shaky. “And if anyone deserves to have the best of friends, it’s Ven Halzen. Thank you, stranger, _thank you._ ” The blond man was shivering and it was horribly awkward. But Terra could really feel the weight of the others’ emotion through the tears wetting his shoulder.

Everyone didn’t know what else to do but eye the two grown men hugging, and Terra froze in his place. Not sure of what to do. So he just let the other man be as he hugged him. But then as Terra watched the blond trying his best not to sob, he just had to _know_.

“Uhhh Lou,” he called, earning a quiet sigh as the other man let go of him. Bright blue eyes stared at his own in an utterly calm and tranquil moment. “Do you know Ven? How…?” _because you seem to love him so much and yet I know nothing about you_ was what he didn’t say. But Lou took a deep breath and smiled and Terra didn’t understand _why_ it reminded him of how Chirithy smiled whenever it saw Ven.

“Of course I would know him,” Lou chuckled. “I have been looking for him for _years_ now. He’s one of my only three friends in the new world.”

And as Lourd Gyllen laughed to himself, Terra began to question everything he thought he knew about his youngest friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. She supposed that hanging out with Lea, Isa, Roxas, and Xion must have brought that in Ven. The four of them share an odd sense of love for edgy metal music, after all  
> Personal headcanon that the Twilight Town Squad listens to Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance and it was the first thing that brought Isa deep into the circle lmao
> 
> 2\. “No. I mean, I met him in a house that looked really similar to the one behind me. Tell me, do you really not feel familiar with the look of the mansion? Seriously?”  
> Oooooh boy, did you guys get it? The implication is that Lou is familiar with the mysterious mansion in Twilight Town, even from Before. And if you guys caught on in what's stated in Vanitas' narrative last chapter a.k.a the parallel he drew between Aqua and Aria, then you'll know one of the underlying plot-bunny hidden in Terra's narrative in this chapter.
> 
> Okay, that's the underlying references of the chapter!
> 
> So who expected the Luxord/Terra hug? It's funny that Lou got to hug Terra in an intensely written scene when our main couple haven't had the chance to hug outside of Trio or Friendship hugs lol (Though in a more serious note, I really tried to convey just how much Ven had meant for Lou Gyllen (and by extension, Myde Ilma)... I wonder if it got conveyed properly to you guys? Let's talk more!! I'm so happy whenever I got a comment from you guys!!!


	11. Interlude - Lourd Gyllen (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lourd Gyllen's life began when Lady Ava asked him to leave everything behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who guessed the unnamed Medve correctly... here's her first appearance in this fic!

Lady Ava was a very soft-spoken yet strong person.

She was also a bit childish and naïve, but she was kind and her heart was in the right place. So when she asked to meet him, Lourd Gyllen had all the expectations that what she wanted would be crucial for this world’s survival.

The Gyllen Sanctum was located underground, unlike the Halzen Manor which stood tall in the middle of the city, or the Ilma Manor by the lake, or the Medve Manor hidden away in the hills outside of Daybreak Town. Their Sanctum was located underneath the clock tower, away from prying eyes, a place where the free-spirited Gyllen Clan rest before going off into their own adventures. Lady Ava was sitting in the armchair by the lounging area, the first room people will enter after the front door, smiling.

Lou was sitting in front of her, cradling a glass of wine he had been enjoying even before the Little Lady appeared before him and entertaining the silence between the two of them. The sound of fireplace crackling was the only company the two had as Lady Ava absently swept the room with her gaze. It was comfortable, homey, and a little bit on the exotic side. Tapestries depicting foxes and keyblades made by Lou’s family decorated the cave walls, complimenting the stone-cold floors adorned by fox-skin rugs. Lady Ava fit right in within their home.

“I’m sorry that I had to call you in like this, Lou,” Lady Ava said with a soft voice. “I was… hesitating about this decision. I can’t see the future like the Master, but I just hope that this would be the best choice,”

“Please, Lady Ava,” Lou smiled. “You are the kindest person I know. Whatever decision you came to must be the best solution you can offer. Now, mind telling me of this ‘whatever decision’ you have come to?”

Lady Ava stifled a laugh, no doubt amused by his choice of words. “Well, I assume you’ve heard of the rumor? Of how I am gathering promising wielders from various Unions to train personally?”

Of course he had. Unlike the other Clans who were so deeply involved in their Unions’ leadership, the Gyllens opted to just let things flow. They trusted that Lady Ava was capable and the Vulpeus would always thrive under her rule. But when the rumor that she was gathering promising wielders from not only the Vulpeus, but also the other Unions had started, members of the Gyllen Clan had questioned her motives. Lou, though, wasn’t really included in this equation. It was true that he was involved in some decisions regarding the Clan, but he himself didn’t really form any cohesive unit in Vulpeus. He gathered Luxes, bought medals, did everything every other average wielder do, but he wasn’t really involved in preventing their imminent death.

(If it was time then it was time. Lou didn’t really care.)

Lady Ava took a deep breath before she put down the cup of tea she had been holding since Lou served it to her. He couldn’t see her eyes, but he knew that it was probably looking straight at him at this very moment, because her face looked both firm and determined.

“I want you to be part of the Dandelions, Lou,”

“Sure, of course,” He answered with an amicable smile. “Wait, what is the Dandelions?”

And that brought another laughter from Lady Ava. “You are always so quick to answer my requests,” she giggled softly. “Anyway, those children from various Unions I am training right now? They are the Dandelions, hope for the new world for… when the darkness consumes this one.” Then Lady Ava told him everything.

From what her Master had told her, about her own role, and all the steps she had taken to recruit wielders who had a certain aversion to darkness. Lou listened to her explanations with a deep frown marring his face. This was serious. Lady Ava was already working in her role to prepare the new generation of wielders for a new world, the imminent death his family members had been trying so hard to prevent no longer became an abstract concept, but a very real situation they were going to face…

He didn’t ask, but he noticed how Lady Ava never seemed to explain what will happen to the old world once the Dandelions arrived in the new one and took his own conclusion to it. The old world will no longer exist, or at least won’t ever be known to those who went to the new one…

“But… you want me to be a part of this new generation? I am hardly a new wielder.” Lou was already in his twenties, after all. And these Dandelions should be in their teens, right? Why would he need to be there…?

Lady Ava took a deep breath, stood up, and walked over to Lou with a solemn smile on her face as she took his hand in hers.

“You are my insurance, Lou,” Lady Ava’s voice was shaking, but her lips were quirked into a smile. “To be honest, I don’t know if I’m going to be there in the new world or not. And I have taken the steps my Master told me about entrusting the Unions to new leaders, but… I can’t help but want my own insurance.”

“And that’s where I come in?”

“Precisely,” Lady Ava nodded. “The Gyllen Clan has always been more of an outsider, caretaker of the balance instead of being involved. And I think… who else would be more appropriate to watch my hopeful Dandelions than they? Than you?”

“But… why me? There are other Gyllens you can choose, my lady,”

There was a smile, a sort of smile Lou would associate with his mother when she wanted to say something but can’t because then he would lose a precious life lesson, on the Little Lady’s face as she tightened her hands around his. “It’s true that the outcome does not change regardless of whom I pick as my insurance,” she then put his hands on her chests, a gesture of deep trust between Gyllen Clansmen. “But… _you_ will be the happiest there. If I am to make someone leave everything behind, I want them to be happy in the new world…”

At that time, Lou didn’t really know what she meant. Lady Ava had tried to explain, but Lou didn’t really want to listen to her anymore, so he only nodded with a polite smile that he was okay. But nowadays, he finally understood what she meant.

Lou was mostly alone all his life and he didn’t really mind. He had been an oddball growing up and he really didn’t care too much about making friends. But then he met Ven Halzen, who had been so desperate to make friends he forgot the people who _are_ his friends; then he met Myde Ilma, who came stomping with a guitar in his hand, asking why Ven Halzen won’t talk to him and their Leopardus crowd anymore and talked to Lou instead; then he met Elrena Medve, who was just so beautiful, relentless, and yet unbelievably kind and loyal underneath her sassy exterior… it was the happiest time of his life.

So of course, back when he knew nothing about his happy future, he reassured Lady Ava that everything would be alright.

 

\--

 

The fountain of the new Daybreak Town was where Lou’s life began.

Because it was there that he met Ven Halzen, who was all smiles and lonely steps. Lou had tried his best to make sure that whenever his little friend looked like he was lonely, he would quip a joke about this and that and made sure that Ven laughed.

He found out that Ven was one of the new Union Leaders along with Ephemer and Skuld—both had been part of Vulpeus, so he had known them quite well—and two other boys named Lauriam and Brain who had come from Ursus and Unicornis respectively. Ven was the youngest out of all five of them, thus he was always a little bit slow, and he could tell that Skuld sometimes got impatient with him. Lou would smile and reassure him as good friends would.

The fountain of the new Daybreak Town was also where he first met Myde Ilma.

Lou had seen him a lot of times, playing his guitar in shows all over the town with a genuine smile on his face, and Lou could tell that he was a very easygoing person. But Myde Ilma was all torrent and raging river when he first came to Lou in the many moments where Ven was busy with his role as a Union Leader.

“Why isn't Ven talking to us? We’re his friends—his Union! He… everyone had said… why is he talking to you instead of me?!”

Lou could read the frustration as clear as day, but it was laced with the purest kind of love and Lou couldn’t help but hug the poor dear. Ven was trying to protect them—all of them, even Lou—from something only the Union Leaders knew. It was probably bigger than the Heartless or the Darklings, because Ven was always such a sweet child and it was a bit unnerving to see him fall into a deep, solemn, silence.

He became friends with Myde Ilma that day. And even when Ven still won’t talk to him or his Leopardus friends, Lou was happy to be the bridge which connected Myde and the person he treasured the most. They’d talk on the fountain, sometimes after Lou danced to Myde’s guitar, and he too, began to treasure Myde Ilma the way he treasured Ven Halzen.

Elrena Medve came later, way later. But they too, met in the Daybreak Town fountain…

On the day when everything came crushing them upside down.

 

\--

 

Brain was crying.

And Lou really couldn’t believe his own eyes, because Ven had always said that Brain was a calm, cool, and the smartest out of the new Union Leaders. Ven had loved to talk about Ephemer the most, but it was apparent that the young Halzen regarded Brain in high esteem as well. But here he was, trying his best not to sob as he wiped the tears away with his sleeves. The sound of the fountain behind him was louder than his sobs, and Lou realized that _that_ must be the reason why they were gathered in the fountain.

Brain took a deep breath before stepping on the edge of the fountain, where he and his friends had sat whenever they hang out with each other, it didn’t suit him. Ephemer was definitely the better choice; he had the charisma and charm to hold a crowd together. But this… well, Lou definitely thought that Brain held them all in a very different way than how Ephemer would.

“E-everyone,” he began, voice still shaking from another onslaught tears which threatened to fall. “I… I have an announcement. About the Union Leaders…”

There should have been murmurs, buzzes, and even _sound_ between these many people, and yet there weren’t. Lou was standing at the farthest back of the crowd, so he should have been able to pick up little whispers here and there, yet nobody did. All of their eyes were on Brain, who was still trying his best not to break down and cry.

“They… they’re gone.”

Silence.

Complete and utter silence, nobody moved.

Lou trembled.

“Right now… I’m trying my best to restore everything back to normal. Thankfully this world is not harmed too badly during our fight, but we have to check for any wandering Heartless and Darklings that may have entered when things got rowdy earlier. I ask everyone to cooperate to eliminate any Heartless and Darklings that may appear in our town… We’ll talk again about what to do in 3 hours. In the Halzen Manor, since that’s the only place big enough for all of us to stay that isn’t broken in any way. Please…”

He was rambling. Lou noticed. But he wouldn’t blame him.

The crowd didn’t move, but then a few wielders Lou knew came from the Unicornis Union turned and asked everyone to follow them.

Of course there were some people who asked why they should leave when everything seemed so… sudden. Those children answered with the calmest smiles. “We know Brain for quite a while and we’ve never seen him act like that. Let’s give him some time to compose himself, we’ll know what to do next.” And that seemed to convince most of the crowd because as always, the Unicornis Union filled with wielders who are fit to be leaders.

But wielders Lou knew as part of Leopardus stayed.

“Myde, c’mon,” The boy with glasses said solemnly, but Myde Ilma refused to budge.

“I’ll stay here to get more answers. Then I’ll go to the base and we talk about what’s going on.” Lou noticed how… fiery Myde’s eyes were. Lou had seen him frustrated and exasperated, but never like… this.

This was just plain anger.

Another boy who was taller than both Myde and the boy with glasses sighed. “Okay then, Myde. Don’t beat anyone up. C’mon Trey, everyone, let’s go.” And then they all left, leaving only Myde behind.

Lou watched as the blond walked over to Brain, his steps long and hurried, a definite telltale of anger and impatience. He stopped right in front of Brain and Myde was a head taller than him. Lou watched silently, also curious of what the next development may be. Because Myde was _not_ an angry person. He was all smiles and songs and easiness…

That was why Lou didn’t expect him to just grab Brain by his collar and _cry_.

“What do you mean…” he whispered, trying to hold back a sob. “What do you mean ‘they’re gone’?! Ven is the best wielder Leopardus has! Do you think I’ll believe that he’s just gone?! Answer me!” Those sobs escalated into shouts and Lou thought that it was high time for him to interfere.

But somebody else had beaten him into it.

“I agree with the traitor Ilma,” a girl said a few meters away from Brain and Myde, her voice hard. “Lauriam could be a bit of a wimp, but he’s strong. There’s no way he’s just… gone like that. Mind explaining things to me as well?”

Green eyes, blonde hair, blunt words, and unapologetic tone. Elrena Medve had come to them like a lightning in a cloudless sky.

And he knew what she was getting at; because he too, felt a little miffed at the explanation Brain had offered them. But Lou was willing to wait until it was the right time to ask and these two… don’t.

Ven was precious to Myde, Lou couldn’t even count the many stories Ven told of him and his antics. And he assumed that this Lauriam was precious to Elrena as well.

(If anything… Lou realized that he loved Ven as well. The blond child with heavy steps and heavier name, yet blessed with a smile so bright it could light up the stars…)

Lou walked over to the three of them, gloved hands gently coaxing Myde to release the poor boy. Whatever happened must have shocked Brain as well and it wouldn’t do to blindly accuse him of anything. Myde didn’t protest, but his steely grip was replaced with an equally steely gaze. He won’t leave without an explanation, and judging from the Medve’s silence, she won’t leave as well.

“Brain… we haven’t met yet, but I am Lou Gyllen. Lady Ava appointed me as the caretaker of some sort for the Dandelions,” Lou said with a smile, trying to appear harmless for the boy. “I don’t know anything specific about what you Union Leaders do, but I _do_ know that you remember the old world perfectly. For some reason Myde and I remember bits and bobs about our lives as well, so Ven is extremely special to us. Would you please… just offer us more explanation than a simple ‘they’re gone’?” He finished with a hint of a solemn smile.

“Oh, I remember stuff about the old world as well,” Elrena Medve chimed. “Is it because we’re Clansmen?” Her eyes were on Lou and he shrugged. He had theorized about that as well, but he had come up blank.

“…memories…” Brain whispered, more to himself than any of them. “Something happened to you guys, something that made your heart retain the memories it held most dear. Something life-defining, something that made you… _you._ ”

Silence befell all four of them following Brain’s remarks.

Lou knew what the defining moment was for him. It was of Lady Ava telling him that his life will change in the new world. And it did. He’d never been happier than the days he spent playing card games or simply just talking with Ven Halzen and Myde Ilma. The two of them had loved his games, always eager to play them, they never once told him that they had no time for his games. Because _friends make time for each other…_

“Please…” Myde began, his voice barely above a whisper. He was trembling and Lou didn’t doubt that he was probably still crying. “Please. Tell me. Is he really… _gone_?”

Lou and Elrena didn’t say anything, because they both knew how unthinkable it was to see the traitor Ilma—who left the Ilma Clan with a burst of cackling laughter after he embarrassed his Clan in front of Lady Invi— _crying_ like he had lost everything.

“You are… Myde Ilma?” Brain took off his hat and finally looked at the other’s eyes with his mouth opened. “Ven has told us a lot about you. We’re really sorry for what we asked of him…”

“W-what?”

“Ephemer, Skuld, Lauriam and I… all of us agreed that it was better for us to limit our interactions with people from our former Union, but we… we believed that the four of us are old enough to regulate ourselves… but that wasn’t the case with Ventus.”

_I guess… I guess they’re treating me like a kid. Skuld sometimes got annoyed with me, but everyone else was always quick to defend me. They’re all nice people. I don’t think I deserve to be picked alongside them…_

Myde didn’t say anything, he didn’t even breathe as he put his hand on Brain’s shoulder and lowered his face until they were face to face.

“I get it. You’re the reason why he won’t talk to us, aren’t you?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Now here you are, talking to me as if you’ve done nothing wrong. You said he’s gone? What guarantee do I have that you’re not the one who did it? Trey and Kyle and the others are kind people, but I’m _not_. Ven is just _that_ important to me, you know?”

Lou could hear the implications loud and clear: Myde will not hesitate to kill Brain if he ever deemed it necessary.

Silence befell them once more.

After a few minutes, Brain took a deep breath and put his hand on top of Myde’s own, his obsidian eyes steely with resolve.

“Very well. I owe you that much. Come with me, I’ll tell you what happened; who we faced and how everyone disappeared aside from me and Ephemer.”

The three Clansmen and one Union Leader walked in silence towards the Halzen Manor, where Lou’s life ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interlude chapters are always fun to write, because they show a completely different view from everyone else. Lou is obviously much more versed in the matter of the world than say, Myde was. 
> 
> But this chapter was... quite intense. I mean, I've been doubting myself if an angry Myde or a crying Brain are even a _thing_. But then my argument is this: Myde was just told that his friend is dead in the most horrible way possible without any sort of explanation. While Brain just saw what was probably the most traumatic thing in his life. 
> 
> And one thing I realized when I was rereading this chapter: how come I managed to write a lot of words and yet explain nothing? What do you guys think?


	12. Exposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myde and Ven bonds. Lou shares his story. Vanitas relearns how to breathe.

It was a lazy autumn day.

Ventus didn’t really feel like going anywhere, and there wasn’t any sort of gathering for the Dandelions and he already finished his Lux-gathering (in which he partied with Myde, just the two of them because they had woken up pretty late after a night of gaming and swimming in the Halzen Villa’s pool) for the day. Dusk had offered them to stay in (as he often does just so he won’t have to worry about him going off on a potentially dangerous adventure) and they were provided with a lot of snacks to binge on. Myde was scarfing down some of the scones Dawn, his dearest life-savior slash chef, had made for them when he suddenly perked up from his music scores and stare at Ven with narrowed eyes.

“Excuse me? Is there something on my face?” Ven asked with a laugh. Myde has been and probably will always be an unpredictable force of nature for him and Ven loved that. It made him feel less… lonely.

Myde frowned.

“You just proved my point dude,” he sighed to himself, as if Ven had offended him in some exasperating way. So he narrowed his eyes in return, hoping that Myde will get his confusion. “You talk weirdly; you know?”

“I… don’t?” Because he didn’t really feel like that. But… maybe he did? But if he really did talk weird wouldn’t Gale or Aria mention something to him? Or maybe they were just too caught up on their problems that they didn’t say anything? _Kingdom Hearts, had he unknowingly shame the Halzen Clan all this time?!_

“Hey! Don’t worry your head off!” Myde cut through his musings like a lightning, as he often did. “I was just saying, y’know? I’ve never heard any nine-year-olds talk like you do. All prim and stuff.”

“But… this is the way I’ve talked all my life…?”

“Ven, what do you call your Chirithy?”

What kind of question is this?

“…Chirithy? He’s just Chirithy?”

Myde rolled his eyes before exhaling out loud. He then took a deep breath and clapped his hands twice.

“Yoooo Myde!!”

“Yooo Melody!”

It was the weirdest Chirithy Ven had ever seen.

It was blue instead of the usual bluish gray; it had light orange stripes instead of the usual gray. Nothing about Myde’s Chirithy reminded Ven of his own Chirithy and it was… odd. Because he had seen Aria and Gale’s Chirithies and they look the same as his own though they have different personalities. Aria’s Chirithy was both wise and witty, though a bit sarcastic and straightforward. Gale’s Chirithy was quiet and calming, always offering his inputs in a lot of situations through a positive lens. But they don’t look like Myde’s Chirithy at all.

The blue-orange spirit was chattering excitedly to Myde about a lot of things, jumping from one topic to another in a rapid-fire speed that Myde seemed to have no difficulty discerning. Sometimes they laughed, other times they hummed together, and then they’d resume talking once more. Ven never really talked that much with his Chirithy…

“Ah, Mel, this is Ven Halzen!”

The spirit’s eyes went over to Ven immediately; it scanned him for a few seconds and squealed as she jumped up and down on Myde’s lap. “Oooooh!!! I know you! It’s always a pleasure to meet a Halzen, moreover if the Halzen is Myde’s friend! Moreover moreover if the Halzen is Myde’s longtime crush!”

“Melody! This is why I cannot summon you anywhere!” The Chirithy—Melody laughed without any reservation as it embarrassed her wielder. “I do _not_ have a crush on Ventus!”

“Yaaaaaa but you talk about him all the time! Lulu and Ray already told everyone in the Leopardus Girls club you know?” There was an exasperated groan that was met with a giggle. “Anyhow! Nice to meet you Ven!” And all he could do was… smile and offered her his hand.

“Pleasure to meet you, my name is Ventus Halzen.”

“Yooooo you really weren’t kidding when you say he talks weird. I bet he doesn’t even name his Chirithy.”

“Uhhhh, no? Do people actually name their Chirithy?”

“Sorta,” Myde said as he scratched Melody behind her ear. “I know that KH’s Chirithy is called Sora. Kyle’s Chirithy is called LuckyCat, Daniel’s Chirithy is called Song. And they look different than yours too.”

Ven bit his lower lip. Chirithy has been his companion for the longest time, although most of the time Ven just had him on his lap and hugged him close as they watch the sunset or the sunrise, and yet it never even crossed his mind to name him. But… won’t it be weird if he just suddenly called him a different name?

It was then that his Chirithy appeared, his eyes focused on him as it usually would. His Chirithy was… quiet, friendly, and loved him very much. And Ven had to smile at him, suddenly feeling thankful for his existence. “You are too good to me; do you know that?” His Chirithy smiled back. “I know. You, too.” Ven hugged him.

Melody chattered about how much Myde never hugged her and how jealous she was, earning an exasperated laugh from Myde. Ven and Chirithy let go of each other and laughed at their friend’s antics. But watching Myde and Melody, Ventus was struck with an idea.

“Chirithy, I really want to name you…” _because you are important to me_ had gone unsaid and yet they caught it all the same. “But… it’d be weird if I just suddenly call you with another name. So… will it be okay if Myde names you? Then he can keep reminding us of your new name.”

Chirithy looked surprised, but he looked so thoroughly thrilled when he nodded. Myde and Melody looked just as surprised, then the two of them launched into loud chattering about what name will be good. It was… warm, and utterly unthinkable. It wasn’t like Ven never shared a moment with anyone, but Dusk and Dawn were always quiet. Myde would usually fill the silence left between the two of them whenever they hung out, but sometimes Ven would feel guilty about making Myde talk alone. But now as Myde and Melody’s chatters fill the silence he shared with his Chirithy, Ven couldn’t feel any more comfortable. Like it should have been like this, even when he shared silence with his siblings…

“Okay, we got it!” Myde said as he grinned to Melody, who snickered back. “Ven’s Chirithy, from now on I dub you Chii Halzen! Call him Chii, _not_ his full name, okay?” Then he and Melody shared a high five (or Myde did a high five and Melody just bump her head to Myde’s palm) and grin to each other once more, looking proud of themselves.

Chirithy— _Chii_ turned towards him, his eyes twinkling yet waiting for approval. Ven tightened his hug around his tiny waist, smiling. “It’s always a pleasure to meet a Halzen,” Ven mirrored the protocol he remembered from every party he had been in during his years as the youngest member of the Halzen Clan. “Hi, Chii, I’m Ventus.” He grinned.

Chii sighed a relieved smile before jumping up and down, clearly excited. “Pleasure to meet you! I’m Chii Halzen, please call me Chii!”

The four of them burst into bouts of laughter.

 

\--

 

Vanitas remembered the lounge the four of them were sitting on at this very moment.

He watched it in one of the floating memories, of Ventus and Master Aqua and Terra and their Master celebrating a holiday on the winter solstice. Of Ventus being clueless over many things in the first years until he was the one talking most than anyone there. But right now, Vanitas couldn’t help but think that Lou’s existence at this place right now was… something that belonged to both him _and_ Ventus.

Both Vanitas and Lourd were strangers in this room that meant a lot for Ventus, Aqua, and Terra; yet as he, Lourd, and Ventus sat in the sofa where Ventus, Aqua, and Terra had been previously, it didn’t feel off.

Lou’s warm blue eyes were regarding him with a sense of wonder that sometimes felt jarring; like he really couldn’t believe that he was there. But his expression was grave. Whatever he had to say was _not_ anything good.

“’You were really brave’ that’s what Brain told us over and over again as we sit there, in the living room of Halzen Manor where your family pictures hang,” Vanitas was aware of how much of Ventus was there, existing together with him in the room that was Ventus’ favorite in the entire castle. But he didn’t wrestle for control as Vanitas breathed, in and out, listening to Lou as they have done thousands of times before in the fountain or forest or fields of Daybreak Town.

Vanitas was also highly aware of how close Lou was to him as they sat together on the sofa in front of the glowing fireplace; half of his torso was on Lou’s lap and the older man didn’t seem to mind or want to let go whatsoever. Ventus didn’t want to let go, Vanitas didn’t really feel uncomfortable, so they stayed. Like that.

Lou’s eyes were warm, calming, still not believing that they were here next to him. Vanitas had seen him once or twice as part of the Organization, but he never lingered around enough to see or talk to him. But now… he could feel just how much Lourd Gyllen mattered to him.

(And it was a _lot_  because Vanitas had never felt so… attached to anyone other than Ventus and yet here they were)

“He didn’t understand how it all happened either. What he knew was when he came to the Keyblade Graveyard, you, Ephemer, and Skuld were engaged in battle with a hooded man. Ephemer and Skuld were doing great, but he always mentioned how you and your twin blades kept charging at him with an angry look on your face… and you nearly had him.”

There were approximately a few hundred questions he’d like to ask, but he voiced none of them. Lou’s finger lightly traced his jaw with a careful touch, as if they were made of glass, but he continued.

“Then… something happened—something Brain couldn’t explain—that knocked all of you out. When he came to, the hooded man had you by the neck, choking the life out of you as he threw Ephemer away. Skuld was screaming and Lauriam was writhing on the ground just next to him,”

Strangely enough, Vanitas could see it. Vanitas could remember the feeling of despair and helplessness as he saw a boy with silver hair, someone who mattered just as much as Lou Gyllen, being thrown away from him. Ventus remembered screaming his name. _Ephemer!!!_ At the same time as the girl whose jet black hair and eyes regarded him with a dignified expectation. Everyone was screaming and the man in the hood was laughing and all he could do was…

“I… asked him to take me, didn’t I?”

_My life in exchange for theirs. Please, please, please! I’ll go with you!_

_Eph is going to die if he’s not treated. Lauriam and Skuld will help him. Brain probably has potions or two to make Eph all better._

_My life for theirs. Seems like a cheap trade._

Lou was frowning as he took a deep breath and exhale, but then he nodded with the most solemn expression Ventus had ever seen from him.

“You did. Brain and Lauriam asked you not to, but then you spared them a glance before following that man into the corridor of darkness, saying that it was the only way.”

_My life for theirs. Brain will heal, Lauriam too. They’d help Eph and Skuld and all of them will choose a new Union Leader to represent Leopardus. He supposed that Myde will be the leader, or Kyle, or whoever. They’d do a better job than he does anyway._

“Then… what happened to Ephemer and the others?”

Ventus’ head was pounding. Because he couldn’t remember these people and yet somehow he knew them. He knew that Ephemer was his leader and brother and he had loved him very much. He knew that Skuld had always been skeptical about Ventus’ ability as a Union Leader, and had taken it upon herself to get him up to speed with the other Leaders. He knew Lauriam was always kind to him, to everyone, exuding a calming presence that no one else ever did. He knew Brain was the smartest of them all, one whose motivations and conducts always confused them. He knew that they were the new Union Leaders after the world… _ended_.

“From what Brain knew, Lauriam went after you after he had an argument with Skuld, but then he passed out. When he came to, everyone was gone and Ephemer… he…” Lou took a deep breath. “Brain watched him disappear in a rain of light. He tried to gather Ephemer in his arms, but he just… _disappears_.”

Ventus shuddered.

His stomach felt heavy. Too heavy. It felt like someone poured a piping hot liquid iron to his intestines and it _hurt_. Eph is gone. Eph is dead. Brain was just too tactful to tell it straight. Eph is gone. Ephemer is _dead._

_My life hadn’t meant anything. Ephemer should have survived. He should have been here. Eph is gone. Eph is dead. Skuld is probably going to skin him alive for letting Ephemer die. Eph is gone. Eph is… Eph is… Eph is!!!_

Ventus trembled.

He can’t remember. But he knew. He knew that it was his fault. Again it was because of him. He’d been too naïve. Too stupid. Too much of an idiot to realize that he hadn’t amounted to anything. He should have stayed alone. He should have done better. He should have gone along with fate’s plan. Ephemer is dead and it was all because of him. Just like that girl. She… she was sweet and kind and she would have been perfect for a Union Leader.

“Ven?”

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!!!

How much of a selfish idiot would he need to be?! How much of the world would he need to sacrifice just so he could feel better about himself?! Just… how much…?

“Ven, _please_.”

He didn’t deserve to be here. He shouldn’t be here. He should have been the one to die. He was so so so stupid and selfish and ungrateful and…

“Ventus!”

He blinked.

“It’s not your fault. You did what you think was best. Ephemer. He asked Brain to take care of you, of everyone, he loves you. Until the end.”

Vanitas _breathed_.

It felt too disorienting, but he began to feel the weight of Chirithy’s head on his chest and Lou’s arms around his shoulders. He could faintly notice the blue of Master Aqua’s hair and the warming presence that was definitely Terra. Vanitas took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to steady the rhythm of his heart to the best of his capabilities.

Chirithy’s hug was unrelenting, desperate, and grounding. Lou’s touch was ever-present. He’s alright. He’s okay.

But… how about Ventus?

“Chirithy…” Vanitas’ voice was faint, noting the absence of Ventus’ presence both in his body or even his head. His spirit-cat nodded, kissed his cheek, and disappeared.

Silence persisted as Lou’s big hand rubbed circles on his back. Aqua and Terra didn’t leave, but they also didn’t try to approach the two Dandelions. Vanitas sighed, relieved, he’s not sure how to deal with them at the moment.

“Are you feeling better, Ventus Halzen?”

Vanitas perked up, noting the way Lou addressed him. It was always Ven or Ven Halzen, wasn’t it? But he also noticed the way Lou’s eyes regarded him with a completely different sort of warmth. It was… calmer, less like a chiding parent and more like a concerned friend. Vanitas’ eyes narrowed.

“That’s who you are now, right? Ventus Halzen?”

And he really didn’t know what to say to that, so he kept looking at him like he had grown a second head. But Lou had a smile on his face as he let go of Vanitas’ shoulders and put them up in a placating pose. It felt nostalgic to see him like that, like a thousand card games Ventus lost because Lou completely made up the rules, or the games he won because Lou was stubborn in his made-up rules. And yet still—

“You never really differentiate it, but I know there’s some difference here and there…” Vanitas’ breath hitched. And Lou obviously took his silence as a sign to continue. “Like… your spirit. Ven Halzen doesn’t call his spirit ‘Chirithy’, he uses the name Myde had given him which was... I believe it was ‘Chii’?” The memories of Ven smiling and grinning while calling _Chii! Chii! Chii!_ flashed and he couldn’t help but sigh. He remembered snippets and bits too, of Myde rolling his eyes and telling him that he spoke too formally for a nine-year-old.

Did that mean… that _he_ existed even before Master Xehanort split them into two? Even when he wasn’t _Vanitas_ , he existed…?

Was that the reason why Chirithy called him Ventus?

“I don’t know,” Vanitas answered and Lou didn’t push him any further, and he was grateful.

“Wait…” Master Aqua was the first one to talk, her eyes glancing over at Vanitas before returning back to Lourd. “Does that mean there are two Ventus Before…?” She was asking his question for him and it didn’t make him feel better. If anything, Vanitas’ head snapped towards Lou, who was looking at Aqua with a confused smile.

“Well, again, he didn’t differentiate them, but… well… Myde and I picked up them up nonetheless.”

Silence.

And yet…

“Well, from your reactions, I am guessing that you don’t remember much of what happened in the past, huh…?” Lou asked him with a kind smile. Vanitas nodded, not quite trusting his own voice. “Well, it’s alright. I’m sure it will all come back to you soon.” He wasn’t sure if he wanted that to happen…

But, he’d always wanted to know who he was, wasn’t he?

Then silence, again.

“Well…” Terra spoke up for the very first time since they entered the room. “You can come stay with us to help Ven remember stuff?” He sounded unsure, and judging from the way his eyes darted to Master Aqua, Vanitas knew for certain that he _was_ uncertain. But there was a nod from Master Aqua and she smiled.

“Yeah, you can come stay with us,” _so we can keep an eye on you_ was what Vanitas assumed to be the underlying note of Master Aqua’s statement. But Lou shook his head with a polite smile.

“No, no, I wouldn’t want to intrude. From what I heard, the three of you had just reunited after a long separation. I’d return to my home; you know where it is, right?” The last statement was directed at Vanitas, but silence was all he could give in return.

“Oh, sorry. I forgot,” Lou laughed, instantly melting the tension in the room. “You can always come find me in the Gyllen Sanctum in Scala Ad Caelum. Brain and the others did wonder to our little Daybreak Town, really, he kept my home and _your_ home in pristine condition.”

In that very second, a thousand questions popped into Vanitas’ mind, but then he could hear Chirithy’s loud scream of _WAIT_ , _VENTUS, PLEASE_ from within his skull and he knew no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah the beauty of third-person limited POV...
> 
> For this chapter... well, try highlighting the references, foreshadowing, and nuances of this chapter!


End file.
